Radio sketch

SCIENTIST
And then. An explosion. Of
incredible, immeasurable magnitude.
And life began.

SHERWOOD
My god. You've done it. Amazing!
The miracle of how the universe was
formed! You've discovered it, Boss.

SCIENTIST
Not just the universe, Sherwood.
Everything. Life, existence,
evolution...

SHERWOOD
Cereal Bars, Tin Openers,

SCIENTIST
...Love, beauty, nature.

SHERWOOD
Angry Birds, microwavable bed
socks...

SCIENTIST
We need a name.

SHERWOOD
I think they call them feet
fuzzers, Boss.

SCIENTIST
For my theory, Sherwood! How about:
'The Birth of Existence'?

SHERWOOD
Mhmm. Too sciencey.

SCIENTIST
Too sciencey? What about... 'The
Initial Chemical Explosion'?

SHERWOOD
Too wordy. See boss, although this
theory explains one of mankind's
most crucial mysteries you also
need it to catch on with the
general public, as stupid as they
may be. Apparently they only bought
4,000 feet fuzzers worldwide last
year!

SCIENTIST
Sherwood. This is a scientific
theory, not a chain of takeaways or
a camp American sitcom. We need a name that's respectable,
something epic, not something you'd
read on the front of a tabloid
newspaper...

SHERWOOD
The Big Bang.

SCIENTIST
What?!

SHERWOOD
The Big Bang.

SCIENTIST
This is no time for jokes,
Sherwood.

SHERWOOD
I'm not joking, boss. Just listen
to it.
(dramatic, serious voice)
The Big Bang.

SCIENTIST
Stop saying it! You want to call
this mass implosion of unlimited
energy and potential that has
shaped the very way we live to this
day and will be seen as one of
mankind's greatest scientific
advances...the big bang?

SHERWOOD
It's catchy and it's alliterative.
Like all the other famous
explosions: the twin towers,
Seven/Seven...

SCIENTIST
It sounds like a porn film.

SHERWOOD
No it does not!

SCIENTIST
Yes it does. It sounds like a porn
film with an ensemble cast.

SHERWOOD
I suppose it does. What about 'the
space surprise'?

SCIENTIST
The space surprise?! Now that
sounds like a Sci-Fi porno.

SHERWOOD
Hmm, that's true. I'll just write
that down for later 'cause I think
I might have a half-decent idea
there.

SCIENTIST
Sherwood! Concentrate. And stop
coming up with sexually euphemistic
ideas.

SHERWOOD
But it's so hard, Boss.

SCIENTIST
I said stop it!

SHERWOOD
Sorry. How about the amazing
eruption?

SCIENTIST
Did you hear what I just said?

SHERWOOD
The inner implosion?
(beat)
No? The loud conception?
(beat)
Big Round Butts 3?
Sorry. That was just an out and out
porn film name.

SCIENTIST
I know it was. I saw it stashed in
your locker yesterday.

SHERWOOD
Well that's embarrassing.
That was supposed to be for your
birthday and now you've ruined it.

SCIENTIST
Oh for god's sake. The Big Bang will have to do. Now, I have to name my new canine cloning process.

SHERWOOD
Oh, I had an idea for that too
Boss. How about 'dogging'?

_________

Any feedback?

Really like this. Perhaps just needs slight pruning in the second half, the Big Bang is dragged out a bit, but really liked the DVD in the locker being a prezzie.

Yeah, I liked that too. 'The space surprise' made me chortle.

A very good sketch but I think the second and third last lines could be improved in the sketch e.g. "well that's embarssing etc..." you could make that line funnier by making him stutter and struggle to come up with a lie (I assume he's lying and it is actually his film, it could do with being a bit more obvious). I actually think the length of the sketch is just about right and there were a few lines that actually made me chuckle, which is rare when I read sketches.

Thanks for the feedback everyone.
That's a good point. In my mind, it was funny because he'd been caught with a porn DVD but he didnt realise the obvious embarrassment of this. Instead, he was annoyed it'd ruined his birthday present for his boss.