NJ: Nigel Farage

SFX: TRAIN NOISE

WOMAN #1
Esti menstruatie regulat?

WOMAN #2
Da, de doua ori pe saptamana.

NIGEL
(COUGHS) Listen, I'm not an eavesdropper, but I have been noticing your conversation.

WOMAN #1
What, so you want us to speak more quiet?

NIGEL
No, I want you to speak more ENGLISH.

WOMAN #2
But what is wrong with Romanian?

NIGEL
Nothing... providing you're IN Romania whilst speaking it.

WOMAN #1
But that isn't very fair.

NIGEL
Yeah, well neither's Britain!

WOMAN #1
(SIGHS) Alright... we speak in English, just for you.

NIGEL
Thank you.

BEAT

WOMAN #2
Hey, isn't he the UKIP manager?

WOMAN #1
He must be. As who else has such manky teeth?

THE WOMEN GIGGLE.

(CONT'D)
Oh, and don't get me started on his breath.

WOMAN #2
I know, it pongs like an arse!

THEY GIGGLE AGAIN.

NIGEL
Listen, on second thoughts... maybe you should 'speak more quiet'.

END

That made me giggle.

http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article1552356.ece/ALTERNATES/s2197/Nigel%20Farage-1552356

That's a brilliant sketch, no fat, great idea and a good punchline
I also admire your courage of the first 2 lines not being in English.
But I think you make the punchline a little too long, all you really need is one insult.
Otherwise if that didn't get in, then the bars being set pretty high.

This was great - nicely topical, funny and to the point. The snatch of Romanian at the top is a great touch. That said, I agree with the crit above about only needing one punchline.

And the phrase 'I have been noticing your conversation' sounds a bit stilted and formal somehow. I'd expect Farage to be more sort of aggressively idiomatic.

I've just read both your sketches and your one liners and have no idea how on earth you didn't get any material on.

Quote: sootyj @ 7th March 2014, 10:26 AM GMT

Otherwise if that didn't get in, then the bars being set pretty high.

View original

Having listened to the show that doesn't appear to be the case. It seems more that they're not looking for the kind of smart satirical stuff groovydude89 has demonstrated so adeptly here but rather they want non political sketches, especially if they include funny voices or impressions of celebrities.

"World's oldest man declared fit for work." That's comedy gold...