SUICIDE - FOR & AGAINST
TIM is stood over a motorway bridge. He lets out a heavy groan. He removes his mobile and phones "MUM" The phone rings but there is no answer, TIM groans and braces himself, ready to jump.
WHITE SUIT (O.S)
Hello Tim.
TIM turns to the sight of a man in a bright white suit steps out.
TIM
(CONFUSED)
Who the hell are you?
WHITE SUIT
(SMIRKS)
I've been sent here by god.
TIM
(GROANS)
For f**k sake, look mate I'm not in the mood for no bible basher today!
Can't you see I'm about to kill myself!?
WHITE SUIT
What? I'm not a... Bible Basher as you say...
(SMILES)
I'm here for you Tim!
TIM
(CONFUSED)
What do you mean, you're here for me? I don't even know you!
WHITE SUIT
I'm here to guide you...
TIM
Are you some kind of crack pot?
WHITE SUIT
If you were to jump from that bridge... Do you know where you will go from there?
TIM shrugs and looks over the bridge.
TIM
Am guessing probably somewhere in the middle, or maybe slightly to the left...
WHITE SUIT
No! I mean... Do you know where you'll go after death? To commit suicide is known as a sin to my leader... A year in purgatory follows... Purgatory - a place where pornography is easily viewed by anybody, where only fatty, horrible food exists, and I got two words for you... Xbox One!
TIM
Xbox One really? Shit that is pretty bad! And--
(REALIZES)
Hang on... You mean... Are you a- a-
(PAUSE)
WHITE SUIT nods.
TIM (CONT.)
A delusional f**king crack pot?
WHITE SUIT
Yes I - Wait what!? NO!
(SIGHS)
I am an angel! God sent me...
TIM stops, shocked and stares at WHITE SUIT. TIM erupts into hysteric laughter.
Suddenly another man appears, seated on the motorway bridge. He is wearing a red suit.
RED SUIT
Don't listen to him! Purgatory is pretty great!
TIM stops laughing and turns to RED SUIT.
TIM
Who the- Who the f**k are you?
WHITE SUIT
(POINTS TO RED SUIT)
Ignore him!
RED SUIT
(POINTS TO WHITE SUIT)
No! Ignore him!
TIM looks to both suited men confused.
WHITE SUIT
(POINTS TO RED SUIT)
No! Ignore him!
RED SUIT
No! Ignore h-
TIM
(SHOUTS)
STOP IT!
(PAUSE)
Both suited men stop bickering.
WHITE SUIT slyly gives RED SUIT the middle finger.
TIM (CONT.)
Now...
(GROANS)
Mister White Suit... You say you're a disciple of God... So am guessing that means
Mister Red Suit you're a disciple of the devil?
RED SUIT
Don't be ridiculous, of course not!
TIM
(LAUGHS)
I knew it was bullshit... Who are you really?
RED SUIT
I am the devil...
TIM
(GROANS)
Oh for fu-
RED SUIT
It's true!
TIM
So I presume you're here to convince me to commit suicide?
RED SUIT
That would be correct! Purgatory ain't that bad Timothy. Free wi-fi, McDonalds, Playstation 4 in every room. What more could you want?
TIM
(POINTS TO WHITE SUIT)
He told me Xbox One!
RED SUIT
Yeah... We changed it! We wanted to make things even better
WHITE SUIT
(COUGHS)
Lick arse...
RED SUIT
(MUMBLES)
Dickhead say what?
WHITE SUIT
What?
TIM and RED SUIT laugh.
RED SUIT
(LAUGHS)
Got'cha!
WHITE SUIT
(GROANS)
Why are the bad one's always the coolest?
RED SUIT
(SMILES)
You really think am cool?
WHITE SUIT
Yeah... You're cool. Look at your clothes, your gelled back hair. You're red suit.
Red is definitely cooler than white!
RED SUIT
(CHUFFED)
Thanks allot! Wow. You've seriously made me reconsider my role here...
TIM groans and checks his watch.
WHITE SUIT
(SMILES)
Really!? Wow!
RED SUIT
Yep. Tim, I agree with Whitey over here... Suicide is-
TIM suddenly throws himself over the motorway bridge. A beep, a screech and a loud crunch is heard.
WHITE SUIT and RED SUIT look at each other, surprised.
WHITE SUIT
Wow... I did not see that coming!
RED SUIT
Me neither...
WHITE SUIT and RED SUIT stand, staring at each other for a brief moment or two...
WHITE SUIT
So...
RED SUIT
Yep...
(CLEARS THROAT AWKWARDLY)
WHITE SUIT
Fancy a quick bash of Fifa on the PS4?
RED SUIT
(NODS)
You're on!
WHITE SUIT and RED SUIT walk away together.
END.