Status report Page 5,560
Quote: Tuumble @ 4th March 2014, 4:50 PM GMTWhat would you think if faced with the following dilemma?
I'd get her to find a different present. Yes, it's commendable of her to be so thoughtful to her friend, but it's bad form to sell gifts to pay for it. Yes, it's lovely to be included in her friend's holiday plans, but an extravagant thank-you gift is not necessary, and in fact could well embarrass the other family if they found out how it was funded.
Agree with Noggett. It's absurd to entertain the idea that you have to reimburse the friend in this way.
If it was me I'd just buy her a little thank you gift after the holiday. Bear in mind tuumble, your daughters friend is getting the pleasure of your daughters company for the holiday, that is the whole point of her being invited in the first place, there's really no need for an expensive paypack.
Also, a kindle provides a gateway to endless pleasure and enlightenment. To give all that up for a One Direction ticket is distasteful.
I agree with all of the above. In addition I think she has to realise you all have limited funds - life is partly about learning to live within your means and she shouldn't expect her parents to fork out for her grand ideas. If her pocket money doesn't cover it, she can't do it. Might not be a bad idea to let her know you're hurt over the Kindle - real life.
Quote: Nogget @ 4th March 2014, 10:19 PM GMTI'd get her to find a different present. Yes, it's commendable of her to be so thoughtful to her friend, but it's bad form to sell gifts to pay for it.
Yeah, get the 1D movie or something, a lot cheaper.
Quote: Tuumble @ 4th March 2014, 4:50 PM GMTWhat are people's thoughts?
Stall until the tickets are sold out!
Quote: Oldrocker @ 4th March 2014, 11:39 PM GMTStall until the tickets are sold out!
Good thinking.
I think selling your posessions for temporary fun is not a good lesson to learn.
As is doing something insensitive as selling a gift.
And 35 quid for a second hand kindle, as if.
I'd put a looped black DVD on the telly and play you're beautiful.
Then inform her it's in memory of Harry Styles who has died of AIDS and was a big gayer, who hated all his fans.
Then when she finishes crying, tell her the good news. That 1 Direction are a shitty band, she will be deeply ashamed of having listened to when she is older and wiser.
I know a lot of people have basically said this, but you did ask for thoughts..
Quote: Tuumble @ 4th March 2014, 4:50 PM GMTWhat would you think if faced with the following dilemma?
My (nearly) 15 year old daughter has been invited to go on holiday for a few days with her school friend in the UK.
OK, first off this is an entirely self interested act on behalf of your daughter's friend's family. My parents used to invite my friends on our Keycamp holidays so that they could sip Merlot outside the mobile home whilst we buggered off to chat up French boys. (They may not have known that was what we were doing).
The fact that there are benefits to this arrangement for your daughter is a secondary consideration as far as they are concerned.
Quote: Tuumble @ 4th March 2014, 4:50 PM GMTAs a thank you my daughter wants to get her a One Direction ticket at Wembley in June but unfortunately the cheapest is £70 a pop.
Because of the above, I think anyone with a shred of a conscience would find this present very difficult to accept. Is your daughter costing them £70 in holiday expenses? Pretty unlikely - accommodation and food won't be that much more expensive with one more person.
Quote: Tuumble @ 4th March 2014, 4:50 PM GMTNeither the ex or myself are able to afford this at the moment
So surely that's the end of the discussion? Lovely thought darling, sadly a bit out of our price range at the moment. How about you get them some chocolates?
Quote: Tuumble @ 4th March 2014, 4:50 PM GMTShe wants to sell her Kindle which I only got for her at Christmas. That makes me sad but I also have to accept that it's hers and that she didn't actually ask for it.
That would make me very sad too. If £35 is a bit of a stretch, then a Kindle would have been a lot of a stretch for you. It is a present.
Quote: Tuumble @ 4th March 2014, 4:50 PM GMTWhat are people's thoughts?
I think you have clearly raised a kind and generous girl of whom you should be very proud. But you do not have to bend over backwards for her just because her motives are laudable. She will get just as much satisfaction from giving a small gift and you won't have the headache.
Ben enjoys a 9.30am start.
But surely all the tramps are awake and harder to kill then? Unless you like the challenge?
Quote: Tuumble @ 4th March 2014, 4:50 PM GMTWhat would you think if faced with the following dilemma?
My (nearly) 15 year old daughter has been invited to go on holiday for a few days with her school friend in the UK. As a thank you my daughter wants to get her a One Direction ticket at Wembley in June but unfortunately the cheapest is £70 a pop. Neither the ex or myself are able to afford this at the moment and even if we could you have to factor in travel from Peterborough, food and spending money for merchandising etc. as well. We also couldn't let them travel alone so someone elses expenses for the day would need to be added and even then I don't like the idea of them being that long without an adult present.
She's come up with a plan whereby she sells something to pay for one ticket and then the ex and me share the cost of the other ticket. I can't really spare £35 either but it's doable. My dilemma is more about what she wants to sell.
She wants to sell her Kindle which I only got for her at Christmas. That makes me sad but I also have to accept that it's hers and that she didn't actually ask for it. It's also the ex's prospective bloke who is willing to pay for it but I'm not that bothered by that.
What are people's thoughts?
The two things are unrelated. She wants to see 1D with her mate. Nothing wrong with that if she can afford it but it has nothing to do with the holiday. A thank you for that is all that's required.
Good points raised - thanks everyone.
I think we made a major error giving her slightest inkling that it was possibility in the first place. It should've been cut stone dead when first suggested but there's not a great deal I can do about that now. They've had such a crap time of late you don't like to crush their hopes but you have to be realistic too.
My new lady has offered to do her friend's hair as she's a hairdresser which I think is a great idea but my daughter had her heart set on the tickets. I wouldn't mind but she's not that much of a fan herself.
I'd say life is sometimes learning about stuff not being fair.