British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 541

Quote: Ben @ 3rd March 2014, 10:55 PM GMT

If I headbutted someone at work I'd get sacked. Apparently, though, it's ok as Pardew did it in the heat of battle according to Alan Brazil.

Are you saying every footballer who has butted somebody should be sacked? I've no problem with people holding that view but clearly they aren't routinely sacked at the moment. Why should Pardew be sacked if players aren't?

More worryingly, what are you doing listening to Alan Brazil?

If the Scots vote for independence, can we deport Brazil, Gray and Hanson?

Quote: Badge @ 3rd March 2014, 11:26 PM GMT

Are you saying every footballer who has butted somebody should be sacked? I've no problem with people holding that view but clearly they aren't routinely sacked at the moment. Why should Pardew be sacked if players aren't?

More worryingly, what are you doing listening to Alan Brazil?

I guess it's an odd one as footballers and rugby players don't get sacked for what is, in the eyes of the law, assault. I seem to recall that Duncan Ferguson got charged with assault, many years ago, for an on the pitch headbutt. It's not a very clear area though. Perhaps the FA could make it more black and white.

And I like Alan Brazil. He's an ex-red!

Quote: Ben @ 3rd March 2014, 10:55 PM GMT

If I headbutted someone at work I'd get sacked.

If you were to run towards and suddenly push your boss aggressively with both hands, would that just be a suspension or a written warning?

And I'd hardly call Pardew's attack 'a head butt'. Look I'm no fan of AP, he even tried to physically attack Wenger, but the overreaction to his overreaction is an overreaction.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 4th March 2014, 1:33 PM GMT

And I'd hardly call Pardew's attack 'a head butt'.

That sort of attack basically says "Look - I'd headbutt you if I actually knew how to do it effectively".

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 4th March 2014, 1:33 PM GMT

Look I'm no fan of AP, he even tried to physically attack Wenger

Wasn't it more a case of Pardew did a fist pump in Wenger's general direction. Wenger then tried to get involved physically. Still one of the funniest moments in the Premier League.

I don't think Pardew should be sacked/arrested, but I do wonder why it's treated differently simply because it's an arena of sport.

So what would we make of this sweetie ?

http://www.expressandstar.com/news/crime/2014/03/04/football-thug-broke-referees-nose-after-red-card/

Hodge right to condemn childish interweb campaign against Cleverly. That's the problem with the internet, mass crassness and bullying. Grow up. And it's a squad of 30 with more to be added later, so his chances of making WC aren't that great to start with. He shouldn't go but he shouldn't be subjected to that crap either.

Hodge living up to his rep as preparer extraordinaire. Penalty psychologist employed, Olympic motivator, now a psychiatrist. :) All we need now is some talented footballers and we have a chance.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 5th March 2014, 9:10 AM GMT

All we need now is some talented footballers and we have a chance.

:D

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 5th March 2014, 9:10 AM GMT

Hodge right to condemn childish interweb campaign against Cleverly.

I'm in agreement with Kipper on this one for once. The England manager should ignore these Internet bullies and judge Cleverly on his recent form.

Is Cleverly that bad? I can't tell, there are a load of England players who just become one anonymous mass to me - Cleverly, Milner, Barry, Carrick, Henderson, Parker, Johnson, Downing, etc. - they're all as equally shit and boring as each other.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 5th March 2014, 1:04 PM GMT

I'm in agreement with Kipper on this one for once. The England manager should ignore these Internet bullies and judge Cleverly on his recent form.

Is Cleverly that bad? I can't tell, there are a load of England players who just become one anonymous mass to me - Cleverly, Milner, Barry, Carrick, Henderson, Parker, Johnson, Downing, etc. - they're all as equally shit and boring as each other.

With the exception of Jordan Henderson I'd agree. Milner alone looks like the worst return on steroids you're likely to see.

Johnson has flashes too; he looks like good material for the sports' psychologist guy; either that, or let him take his lucky teddy bear onto the pitch with him.

From my blinkered and ignorant perspective, the England squad only needs 4 core players - Rooney, Wilshire, Gerrard and Ashley Cole.

We only have one decent striker. Townsend, Lennon, Oxlade-Chamberlain and Walcott are kind of interchangeable. Lampard is past it. No single goalkeeper stands out and our defence is a bit patchy.

It fills me with dread when we put out a midfield of the anonymous players previously mentioned. The ball never leaves the England half as uncreative non-entities play the ball backwards towards the goalie for most of the match and we invariably lose.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 5th March 2014, 1:49 PM GMT

the England squad only needs 4 core players - Rooney, Wilshire, Gerrard and Ashley Cole.

Core players indeed - as in "Cor blimey, they're shit".

From The Guardian's running commentary . .

Before Rooney can wallop the free-kick into the wall, Adam Lallana replaces Jack Wilshere. Rooney then wallops the free-kick into the wall.

Laughing out loud

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