British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 5,556

Quote: Lee @ 1st March 2014, 8:09 PM GMT

Nibbles, drink and the footie?! Why aren't you inviting us all round? Where's the love, rosc'??

Just warming up. The pizza's arrive about 10. Come on over. Take your shoes off though as you come in. Can't spoil the shag pile.

Quote: roscoff @ 1st March 2014, 8:03 PM GMT

Not often I get a Saturday night to myself. I've been watching rugby and I'm about to have a very nice glass of wine or two with feta cheese stuffed olives. Match of the Day later without anybody getting in a huff. Something to be said for the single life!

I would love each and every one of those activities.

Although I would put a large Chinese takeaway in between the rugby and the wine/feta.

You just need the right woman, Roscoff!

Quote: Jennie @ 1st March 2014, 8:36 PM GMT

I would love each and every one of those activities.

Although I would put a large Chinese takeaway in between the rugby and the wine/feta.

You just need the right woman, Roscoff!

Sold! Come on over with Lee. We'll discuss terms. Do you sleep on the left or the right. Oh yes, I have to have a window open in the the bedroom. Can't sleep otherwise. Also if it rains I can't hear it. I love falling asleep to the sound of rain!

Threesome!

Quote: roscoff @ 1st March 2014, 8:41 PM GMT

Sold! Come on over with Lee. We'll discuss terms. Do you sleep on the left or the right. Oh yes, I have to have a window open in the the bedroom. Can't sleep otherwise. Also if it rains I can't hear it. I love falling asleep to the sound of rain!

I feel the window requirement may be a deal breaker. :(

What if a badger climbed in? :O

Quote: roscoff @ 1st March 2014, 8:41 PM GMT

I love falling asleep to the sound of rain!

You must get plenty of opportunity in Wales.

Quote: Lee @ 1st March 2014, 8:42 PM GMT

Threesome!

If I'm supplying nibbles and accommodation, Jenny the female interest, you're on brekkie. Eggs sunny side up please!

Quote: Jennie @ 1st March 2014, 8:45 PM GMT

I feel the window requirement may be a deal breaker. :(

What if a badger climbed in? :O

Don't worry about the Badgers, my next door neighbour Viv is the dark horse here. I've never seen anybody scale a drainpipe like him!

Where's my pizza....

Where's my damn pizza?

WHERE'S MY PIZZA???

WHERE'S MY BUGGERING BOLLOCKING ARSING PIZZA , YOU ITALIAN BASTARDS???

Is it just me or are there more white delivery people now, delivering Chinese? Not long ago I had a middle aged white guy in a business suit deliver me a Chinese from his convertible.

Quote: Lee @ 1st March 2014, 9:00 PM GMT

Is it just me or are there more white delivery people now, delivering Chinese? Not long ago I had a middle aged white guy in a business suit deliver me a Chinese from his convertible.

If by Chinese you're secretly referring to drugs, then I think this is the most racist thing I've ever heard.

Quote: Lee @ 1st March 2014, 9:00 PM GMT

Not long ago I had a middle aged white guy in a business suit deliver me a Chinese from his convertible.

You sure he worked for a Chinese restaurant? Maybe he happened to be passing your house on the way home to his mansion and saw your hungry face peering out the window and felt sorry for you?

Both are possibilities!

An exhausting afternoon trying to get to grips with the new laptop. Now lying on the couch ready to down 10 bottles of wine and a box of chocolates won in a raffle.

Quote: keewik @ 1st March 2014, 9:11 PM GMT

Now lying on the couch ready to down 10 bottles of wine and a box of chocolates won in a raffle.

:O This is the possibly the most impressive windfall ever. 10 bottles of wine!

Knew that was a mistake the minute I wrote it. I'm good with raffles but not that good. Happy St. David's Day!

Knew that was a mistake the minute I wrote it. I'm good with raffles but not that good. Happy St. David's Day!

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