Abracadabra - Gazza

To the tune of "Abracadabra" by the Steve Miller Band:

Footballer, of great renown
My head is spinnin’
Round and round
Round and round and round it goes
How many pints? Nobody knows

Every time it’s just the same
I wander round f**ked on champagne
Bubbling bubbles get me pissed quicker
I should be wearing a disabled sticker

Gazza Gazza oh Gazza
You are as mad as a hatter
Gazza Gazza oh Gazza
Liver in tatters

I smoke a lot, I love my pies
Physical wreck, it’s no surprise
Keep remembering Euro ‘96
Just don’t stare at my facial tics

Gazza Gazza oh Gazza
You are as mad as a hatter
Gazza Gazza oh Gazza
Liver in tatters

I’m not crazy I just get depressed
It’s ‘cos of my enormous breasts
In my hotel I’m watching Match of The Day
Still getting threats from the IRA

I see a tackle by Ronaldo
I get mad, slit my throat
Just when I feel myself slipping away
I hear the words the press always say

Gazza Gazza oh Gazza
You are as mad as a hatter
Gazza Gazza oh Gazza
Liver in tatters

Every time it’s just the same
I wander round f**ked on champagne
Bubbling bubbles get me pissed quicker
I should be wearing a disabled sticker

Footballer, of great renown
My head is spinnin around and round
Footballer, of great renown
My head is spinnin around and round
Footballer, of great renown
My head is spinnin around and round

Haha. I really like this James. 3 points.

Good stuff, good stuff

As somebody once said about another satirical sketch, I thought it was off the mark in that it was harsh without being funny. And it repeated the same basically unfunny thing. I think material has to be very cleverly written to work in this situation and I don't think this is. Having said that, I'm not sure Gazza is really a ripe target for this sort of satire at all.

Foxy bitterness is no substitute for talent. Sorry but it's a good song, good puns, good tune, I have a tin ear but I can pick up how catchy it is.

And comparing Gazza to the McCannes that's an odd judgment.

We shall have to agree to differ on this one.

It's not bad, actually.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't knock it. It's just a bit cheeky of James to criticise my infinitely superior song when his own little ditty is open to to similar criticism.

Very good James. Any chance of seeing your ass again soon?

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ February 21, 2008, 9:41 PM

Very good James. Any chance of seeing your ass again soon?

View original

Ha ha, I'm racking my brains to try and get it in my next performance.

Quote: sootyj @ February 21, 2008, 9:35 PM

And comparing Gazza to the McCanns that's an odd judgment.

View original

Gazza's a splendid person - and he hasn't murdered his daughter.

The McCanns are not splendid people - and they too, of course, have not murdered their daughter.

So Gazza and the McCanns are the same is some ways and different in others.

Quote: FoxyBox @ February 21, 2008, 9:31 PM

As somebody once said about another satirical sketch, I thought it was off the mark in that it was harsh without being funny. And it repeated the same basically unfunny thing. I think material has to be very cleverly written to work in this situation and I don't think this is. Having said that, I'm not sure Gazza is really a ripe target for this sort of satire at all.

View original

Has your girlfriend just had a bikini wax?

Not wanting to kick this debate off, but I'm deeply impressed by a couple who murder a child. Then convince 6 friends who don't know them well to lie convincingly, and stick to a complex story that survives multiple interviews by trained journalists, police officer, and other investigators. To clean every last trace of forensic evidence, with no trace of cleaning fluids, or even a hoover. They must be geniuses, and I guess they did it for the money, all that money thats rolling in. But again their such skillful agencies they put the whole lot in a trust, they can't touch even to cover their own legal bills. A trust so fiendish that even though it's available to all through the charity commission, not a penny has been misplaced. All suspected people deserve the benefit of the doubt, those where there is real doubt on their guilt deserve it more so.

By all means joke about the double standards of missing posh kids, with pretty mummies, as opposed to kids from poorer backgrounds. Pick on the press farago, which I do, and I do cheerfully.

Comparing all that with a jolly footballer, who has some minor mental health issues, and substance abuse problems, but chose the lime light. That is so facile it defies belief.

Don't rise to it Sooty, this should all be obvious to anyone with at least half a brain. And you missed out that Gazza was a wife-beater too.

True, a sad side effect of substance abuse.

n.b. You think he'd be grateful Israel pulled out of him 5 years ago.

Arf arf!

Any meaningful discussion of the McCanns' role in Maddie's disappearance would expose this website's operators to the threat of legal action.

Let's not risk that.

Let's just laugh at mental illness.

Much safer.