Things that piss you off Page 1,367

Quote: keewik @ 2nd February 2014, 8:40 PM GMT

Bastards who insist on loading their messages (' shopping' for you foreigners) up when I'm still doing mine. Are the bastards blind or what? Yesterday I dealt with it by pointedly shoving the woman's stuff back along the belt. Finally, finally, the bitch apologised.

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The other lady tells this story from her pov on another forum: "yesterday a slow cow in front of me..."

Quote: zooo @ 2nd February 2014, 8:44 PM GMT

Never heard that one before!

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Stupid sassanach!

Quote: keewik @ 2nd February 2014, 9:05 PM GMT

Did you stray into the Ladies by mistake?

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That's right, it was a mistake.

Quote: keewik @ 2nd February 2014, 9:05 PM GMT

Today's Scottish lesson ...
'to go the messages' = 'to do the shopping'

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Ooh, it's just like the Godfather!

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 2nd February 2014, 9:06 PM GMT

The other lady tells this story from her pov on another forum: "yesterday a slow cow in front of me..."

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That's the main reason I use the Unrecognised Item In Bagging Area machines, nothing's worse then being stuck behind an old lady loading her bags at the speed of cement at the till.

No go on, take your time, take all the time in the world, have a nice conversation with the checkout woman, no problem, now go looking for your purse, it's alright I have all day, oh you've finally found your purse - excelsior! Oh coupons, that's a twist, oh dear, they're out of date, why not debate that fact with the check out girl, maybe she can call the manager over, as expected, they're out of date so you're going to put that item back, that's just pure magic, I'll just stand here with my three items waiting for the register to remove that item and now we have a new total, brilliant. Go on, count the cash out of your pocketbook, what's that? You don't have enough money? Guess you'll be paying by card then, have a few goes at your PIN, let's make it a game and hoorah, you've eventually remembered on the third go. So I can just...oh no, forgot to get your bonus points, time to break out the pocketbook one more time and here we go, it's my turn. Nope, have to wait for you to put your bags back in the trolley and eventually move away at 1MPH.

Old Lady: 'Sorry dear'

Me: 'No, honestly, that's fine.'

Inside my brain: 'I'm gonna set fire to your heart medicine and throw you off a motorway bridge!!! '

Why don't you use the self scan Speedy Gonzales

actually with self scan, use your own machine you bastard, don't put your pram, friend or large bum on either side of the self scan machine.
Why do people have to take up so much space, men putting their swollen gonads on spare tube seats. Chavs putting monkey bikes in the path way, people smoking in door ways of shops they'd never go in. Anorexic women with 6 foot wide handbags, people cycling on pavements. Stop using my space, you insecure bastards.

Quote: sootyj @ 2nd February 2014, 9:39 PM GMT

, people smoking in door ways of shops they'd never go in.

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Because the boss of their company who specialises in tax avoidance, starting wars in Africa and raping the environment won't allow his minimum wage drones to smoke a cigarette in front his £20 million office complex. He thinks it's disgusting.

[quote name="Gordon Bennett" post="1052561" date="2nd February 2014, 9:06 PM GMT"]The other lady tells this story from her pov on another forum: "yesterday a slow cow in front of me..."
Bastard! I am the most organised shopper EVER. I have a system and get extremely irritated by all the silly arseholes who can't organise their messages.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 2nd February 2014, 9:34 PM GMT

That's the main reason I use the Unrecognised Item In Bagging Area machines, nothing's worse then being stuck behind an old lady loading her bags at the speed of cement at the till.

No go on, take your time, take all the time in the world, have a nice conversation with the checkout woman, no problem, now go looking for your purse, it's alright I have all day, oh you've finally found your purse - excelsior! Oh coupons, that's a twist, oh dear, they're out of date, why not debate that fact with the check out girl, maybe she can call the manager over, as expected, they're out of date so you're going to put that item back, that's just pure magic, I'll just stand here with my three items waiting for the register to remove that item and now we have a new total, brilliant. Go on, count the cash out of your pocketbook, what's that? You don't have enough money? Guess you'll be paying by card then, have a few goes at your PIN, let's make it a game and hoorah, you've eventually remembered on the third go. So I can just...oh no, forgot to get your bonus points, time to break out the pocketbook one more time and here we go, it's my turn. Nope, have to wait for you to put your bags back in the trolley and eventually move away at 1MPH.

Old Lady: 'Sorry dear'

Me: 'No, honestly, that's fine.'

Again I say 'Bastard!'

Inside my brain: 'I'm gonna set fire to your heart medicine and throw you off a motorway bridge!!! '

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Quote: sootyj @ 2nd February 2014, 9:39 PM GMT

Why don't you use the self scan Speedy Gonzales

actually with self scan, use your own machine you bastard, don't put your pram, friend or large bum on either side of the self scan machine.
Why do people have to take up so much space, men putting their swollen gonads on spare tube seats. Chavs putting monkey bikes in the path way, people smoking in door ways of shops they'd never go in. Anorexic women with 6 foot wide handbags, people cycling on pavements. Stop using my space, you insecure bastards.

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Self scan, like Kindles, is the work of Satan.

Quote: keewik @ 2nd February 2014, 10:25 PM GMT

[quote name="Gordon Bennett" post="1052561" date="2nd February 2014, 9:06 PM GMT"]The other lady tells this story from her pov on another forum: "yesterday a slow cow in front of me..."
Bastard! I am the most organised shopper EVER. I have a system and get extremely irritated by all the silly arseholes who can't organise their messages.

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That system worked fine didn't it.

Right up unto the moment you forgot your glasses and started piling up your tins of beans on the conveyor belt....at Govan crematorium

or as it's better known, the over 30s club.

It's 10 items or less you bitch, buy one get one free doesn't count.

Quote: keewik @ 2nd February 2014, 10:25 PM GMT

[quote name="Gordon Bennett" post="1052561" date="2nd February 2014, 9:06 PM GMT"]The other lady tells this story from her pov on another forum: "yesterday a slow cow in front of me..."
Bastard! I am the most organised shopper EVER. I have a system and get extremely irritated by all the silly arseholes who can't organise their messages.

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Don't forget about the eejits who pack your stuff into their shopping bags while you're still paying

Sorry...messages bags.

Quote: keewik @ 2nd February 2014, 10:32 PM GMT

*
Self scan, like Kindles, is the work of Satan.

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I'm not a religious man, but do agree that they were designed by Lucifer and all his little wizards.

TTPYO - Left wingers who complain about footballer's wages. You bloody morons, footballer's pay is the very definition of socialism. The workers - who earn huge fortunes for their clubs - are paid a fair share for their labours and the continued success of the collective enterprise.

Go and read some Marx you dumb Commies.

Quote: sootyj @ 2nd February 2014, 10:36 PM GMT

That system worked fine didn't it.

Right up unto the moment you forgot your glasses and started piling up your tins of beans on the conveyor belt....at Govan crematorium

or as it's better known, the over 30s club.

It's 10 items or less you bitch, buy one get one free doesn't count.

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Scottish Lesson 2 for the night - CRAIGTON CREMATORIUM serves Govan ( you might need this info for some sort of quiz - oh, and you can tell them that's where my granny was burned).

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 2nd February 2014, 10:40 PM GMT

Don't forget about the eejits who pack your stuff into their shopping bags while you're still paying

Sorry...messages bags.

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Haven't experienced that as Scots are so honest.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 2nd February 2014, 10:42 PM GMT

I'm not a religious man, but do agree that they were designed by Lucifer and all his little wizards.

TTPYO - Left wingers who complain about footballer's wages. You bloody morons, footballer's pay is the very definition of socialism. The workers - who earn huge fortunes for their clubs - are paid a fair share for their labours and the continued success of the collective enterprise.

Go and read some Marx you dumb Commies.

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I'd agree footballers' wages are obscene, especially as they're mostly intellectual retards, but it's not my money so they can do what they like.

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 2nd February 2014, 10:40 PM GMT

Don't forget about the eejits who pack your stuff into their
Sorry...messages bags.

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ha. Glad to see you're learning.

Quote: keewik @ 2nd February 2014, 10:49 PM GMT

I'd agree footballers' wages are obscene, especially as they're mostly intellectual retards, but it's not my money so they can do what they like.

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Taken to the other extreme, you could argue that people on minimum wage deserve to be paid badly because they are intellectually inferior. Nice going you Tory!

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 2nd February 2014, 11:03 PM GMT

Taken to the other extreme, you could argue that people on minimum wage deserve to be paid badly because they are intellectually inferior. Nice going you Tory!

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I've never voted for bastard Tories in my entire life and don't intend to. I'd as soon vote commy or international socialist

Quote: keewik @ 2nd February 2014, 11:08 PM GMT

I've never voted for bastard Tories in my entire life and don't intend to.

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I did, I voted for Boris as London Mayor and he's done an excellent job. He vowed to get rid of the Bendy Bus and not to increase or extend the Congestion Charge and he's more or less been true to his promises. He did bring in those bloody bicycles though - the bastard.

I will never rule out voting for any particular party - otherwise my vote is wasted and democracy is a joke - my voting preference will be based on what I want from a prospective government, not how I'm expected to vote.

But I'm utterly bonkers that way.