Another one for the sky high rejection pile!
ALOOF ROBOT: Normally an earthly tradition, the bore that is the football World Cup has gone extraterrestrial for the first time in its history, as the 2530 competition takes place on the moon. We now cross live to our sports team for typically clichéd analysis for the dying minutes of England VS USA.
FX:INTELLIGIBLE CHANTS IN A STADIUM.
CONNER FLAG: It's the dying moments here at the Stadius Crater Stadium as the score remains 0-0.Thanks for joining me, Conner Flag, and my colleague Chris Barr.
CHRIS BARR: It's been a tense affair here; the atmosphere is really taking its toll on the players.
CONNER FLAG: Yes the crowd have been quite subdued here this evening. At least I think it's evening anyway.
FX:CROWD NOISE BEGINS TO SWELL BEFORE ERUPTING INTO CHEERS
CONNER FLAG: Oh and it's a goal! What a goal! What a strike! A dramatic 90th minute goal. England go 1-0 up thanks to Elroy Walcott of European champions, York City.
CHRIS BARR: It's a fantastic strike that was hit well in the 69th minute, just arriving now, its hit the back of the net! Unbelievable! He's off to the corner flag for his patented celebration and rightly so!
CONNER FLAG: Oh, and he's kept running, Chris. He's lifted another flag, the original American moon landing flag! The yanks certainly won't like that! Oh Dear.
CHRIS BARR: They have not taken kindly to that at all, but he has been punished with a blue card for race baiting.
CONNER FLAG: Our cloned legend on the touchline, Stephen Gerrard the 33rd has more on the incident. Stephen?
GERRARD THE 33RD: Ehhhh.
CONNER FLAG: Thanks Stephen. There's also been a change on the England bench, a new manager has appeared, an Italian this time. How many is that now, Chris, since the tournament began?
CHRIS BARR: That makes Paulo eleven.
CONNER FLAG: A low number in this day and age. Oh! And the grass has retracted into the dusty surface, its full time and England win!
FX
BJECT FLYING CLOSELY OVERHEAD
FX: THE CROWD CHEER IN EXCITEMENT
CHRIS BARR: They have won indeed, and loo k at that! A lovely comet flying close by to mark the occasion!
CONNER FLAG: A majestic sight to...wait, no that's just Wayne Rooney's missed penalty from the 2014 World Cup doing its annual orbit.
CHRIS BARR: Aw so it is. Well that's England's World Cup journey complete, surely the worst World Cup since Qatar!
CONNER FLAG: I'll agree with that, Chris. But at last, England reign supreme! Third place playoff winners, which will go down in history as their greatest achievement since 1966.
[END]
