What do you call a fish who thinks he's OCD?
Dyslexic cod.
Did you hear about the stand up who did a gig and all that turned up was one hermaphrodite?
He opened with "Good evening lady and gentlemen."
First post.
Tell us a joke Page 19
Tesco withdraws its calendar from stores, after they mistakenly labelled 2014 the year of the 100% lean minced beef.
A mother lost a child in our store. We probably would have found the kid faster if, when asked for a description, the mother didn't construe that as "Hire a world class artist to paint a fresco of the child."
I once had a threesome involving 5 other accountants.
Quote: Mr Mister @ 31st January 2014, 1:11 PM GMTWhat do you call a fish who thinks he's OCD?
Dyslexic cod.
Liked it but I think this is slightly improved by adding 'A'
A dyslexic cod.
How many sexists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one as long as it's a bloke.
It's not over till the fat lady changes the locks and puts all your clothes in a bin bag on the kerb.
Quote: danphobic @ 31st January 2014, 1:46 PM GMTI once had a threesome involving 5 other accountants.
Nice.
Natesean the maths teacher one is brill.
It could come straight after your prince/frog one and be related to 'relationships'
I hate dating maths teachers, they expect you to solve all their problems'
But we always work it out
I don't know about you, but I just can't wait until Justin Bieber turns 27.
Justin Bieber has apologised for saying Anne Frank would've been a Belieber. He says it was disrespectful to relatives of Justin Bieber.
Remember boys and girls. This is the time of the year when the gopher comes out and winds up in jail because he lives in Moscow.
So, Facebook is ten years old today.
Which ironically is a lot like the grammar and mentality of its users.
Quote: NateSean @ 2nd February 2014, 3:06 PM GMTRemember boys and girls. This is the time of the year when the gopher comes out and winds up in jail because he lives in Moscow.
Good idea but clumsy and you explain too much, in my numble opinion all you need is
If they had Groundhog day in Moscow the Gopher would be in trouble when he came out.
Quote: Nick81 @ 4th February 2014, 12:45 PM GMTSo, Facebook is ten years old today.
Which ironically is a lot like the grammar and mentality of its users.
Facebook is 10 years old today, ironic I got arrested for posting pictures of 10 year olds on it.
Facebook maybe 10 years old, but most of it's posts are straight out of primary school.
Quote: Neillg @ 31st January 2014, 11:54 PM GMTI don't know about you, but I just can't wait until Justin Bieber turns 27.
dont get this.
The Justin Bieber joke is about the fact Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse both died of drug overdoses at 27.
Regardless, the joke had already been done many times.
Quote: Nick81 @ 4th February 2014, 1:02 PM GMTThe Justin Bieber joke is about the fact Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse both died of drug overdoses at 27.
Regardless, the joke had already been done many times.
I think those deaths were regarded as a tragic loss/waste of talent though. So on those grounds I'm not sure if this works 
My Dad was telling me about when he used to float about in the sea providing navigational assistance for yachts. I asked him if he had any other stories from when he was a Buoy.