This was adapted from something silly I wrote a few years ago:
VOICEOVER:
In the year 2525, the concept of prejudice has been completely eradicated from the universe. Apart from on Earth. What else did you expect? People living in perfect harmony? Dear oh dear.
F/X: FRENZIED KNOCKING
BOSS:
Come in!
FX: DOOR OPENING
PAUL:
(PANTING) You're not going to believe this! I've just seen the new temp in reception!
BOSS:
Strapping young man is he? No doubt ready to share a dirty joke or two! Excellent stuff! Send him in!
PAUL:
It's not a man!
BOSS:
So, it's a woman! Magnificent! I hereby declare the reintroduction of topless Tuesday!
PAUL:
You don't understand! It's... It's... IT'S A MARTIAN!
BOSS:
WHAT?!
PAUL:
Head office have decreed your anti-Martian policy to be a bit Martianist.
BOSS:
But that's the whole point of it! We don't want Martians here! They're only interested in stealing our jobs, stealing our women and stealing our right to discriminate!
PAUL:
It's political correctness gone mad!
BOSS:
You better send it in and, while you're at it, go fetch the ray gun.
F/X: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING. SQUELCHING FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
MARTIAN:
Delighted to meet you and may I say what an honour it is-
BOSS:
YOU'RE FIRED!
MARTIAN:
(LAUGHS) I was told that you Earthmen would have a great sense of humour!
BOSS:
Been doing a bit of research on us, eh? Finding out what makes us tick, eh? Planning to integrate yourself and then launch a terrorist campaign to enslave us and eat our children, eh?
MARTIAN:
Well, if by research you mean studying Earth Economics and Production Strategies for my degree then: GUILTY!
BOSS:
Is there no end to your depravity?!
MARTIAN:
These figures you have on the holoboard are very interesting. Very interesting indeed.
BOSS:
You keep your eyes off that! That's highly classified information about the production of military toilet seats!
MARTIAN:
If you adjust that figure here and downsize the workforce, then you're going to increase production and save millions on labour.
BOSS:
Millions?
MARTIAN:
Yes, I dare say enough to afford your own little holiday asteroid.
F/X: FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING
PAUL:
Ok, sir, do you want to do the honours or should I blast him to high heaven?
BOSS:
Slight change of plan, Paul. You're being redeployed to the factory floor and our Martian friend will be taking over your role.
PAUL:
What?!
BOSS:
Oh and bring in your children for him to eat.
MARTIAN:
Yum!
ENDS
