JaPi,
In the words of the BCG favourite, Kenny Rogers - from 'The Gambler':
You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run
Not one poster has liked the sketch. You have had some specific feedback from the likes of Sootyj (who now makes his living writing comedy)detailing why it does not work.
Leave it and move on before you alienate yourslef.
Alienate yourself and end up in a space school based sketch.
Quote: Will Cam @ 27th January 2014, 2:43 PM GMTLeave it and move on before you alienate yourslef.
Yeah, nothing like trying to have a reasoned discussion on the internet to alienate everyone. If nobody else posts the topic dies. I'm not going to respond to myself.
It isn't a reasoned discussion JaPi. You have rejected every bit of useful criticism.
Quote: billwill @ 27th January 2014, 10:08 PM GMTIt isn't a reasoned discussion JaPi. You have rejected every bit of useful criticism.
You can reject criticism you don't agree with. I gave reasons for why I disagreed with any given point. I asked for clarity and constructive feedback. That's a reasoned discussion in my book. Feel free to think differently.
Reminds me of something I once said to Cotter, are you really going to tell all 2 million of your viewers why you're funny.
As it is I'm not that bothered if people take my critique, I do it for the practice it's a skill in itself.
As it is Japi you're a relatively new writer, so it's understandable that your early stuff sucks. And it is so poor that, that's fact not opinion.
It just seems a shame you've decided to spend so long writing poorly and defending it deludedly.
A shame solely for you.
Oh and in the end Cotter wised up took some advice and has now had some comedy stuff on regional BBC and stage sketch shows.
Quote: JaPi @ 27th January 2014, 10:17 PM GMTYou can reject criticism you don't agree with. I gave reasons for why I disagreed with any given point. I asked for clarity and constructive feedback. That's a reasoned discussion in my book. Feel free to think differently.
Problem is you rejected everything.
Now be a good student and having taken in all the comments, do a complete rewrite of your sketch and present the rewrite below.
Note that this is EXACTLY what you will be required to do if any sketch of yours ever attracts a producers eye.
If you are unable to rewrite, you will never get anywhere in this field and you might as well decide now on some other path for your skills.
That's certainly true, 2's good for 4's average and 6 is the top and not to infrequent number of redrafts.
Quote: billwill @ 27th January 2014, 10:27 PM GMTProblem is you rejected everything.
Now be a good student and having taken in all the comments, do a complete rewrite of your sketch and present the rewrite below.
Note that this is EXACTLY what you will be required to do if any sketch of yours ever attracts a producers eye.
If you are unable to rewrite, you will never get anywhere in this field and you might as well decide now on some other path for your skills.
Again, you're speaking like I've had loads of feedback identifying unarguable non-subjective faults with the sketch, which I haven't. I'm also not the student to your teacher. I never entered into that relationship with you.
If a sketch of mine ever attracts a producer's eye, then the relationship between us will be one that will require me to listen to what they have to say and adapt my work accordingly to get it on the air, even if I think it's bad advice.
Who says I'm unable to rewrite?
Criticise my sketch, but don't criticise my ability to write on the mistaken belief that I'm under any obligation to accept what you have to say as gospel.
Quote: JaPi @ 27th January 2014, 10:17 PM GMTI asked for clarity and constructive feedback.
Ok. It is not funny. There are no jokes. There is a confusing structure. The binary bollocks is just that.
Make it funny. Put some jokes in it. have a structure - beginning, middle, end. don't put a load of numbers in a script and then assume that the producers, who have nothing better to do obviously, can always add bleeps in for you.
If you disagree on the lack of jokes please feel free to highlight them in your script it bold or put a few in a post.
You put something up in critique you accept a position as a student, or at least someone looking for feedback.
Some far more skilled and experienced writers than you do it.
Quote: sootyj @ 27th January 2014, 11:01 PM GMTYou put something up in critique you accept a position as a student, or at least someone looking for feedback.
Some far more skilled and experienced writers than you do it.
Yeah, mine is the position of someone looking for feedback. I assume all writers do it. I am however, no longer looking for feedback from someone who can't handle my rejecting their feedback. 
Nah a lot of writers write for themselves. Successful ones mainly.
Oh bugger, I think I've seen this episode before.... And I know how it turns out. Cotter reached about 200 posts on one occasion before everyone switched off.....think I'll save me self the effort and switch over now.
Cotter is good and has my back. Such as it is.