No one drinks like dad did

I used to be a fond map reader. I asked my dad for a sextant so I could measure the angle between any two visible objects. but he misheard and got me something else.

now I like camping

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my dad used to drink a lot. he would come home and play his favourite game

shit your pants. blame the dog.

no rules. one winner. and we didn't have a dog. eventually we had to buy a dog because the parrot was getting all the flack

"squawk that wasn't me"

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whilst at university, a bilingual, tricycle riding and quadraphenia watching octopus walked into the pentagon.

what do you think?

its good, hex-sept....

I like these jokes, but I'm not sure they are strong enough to stand as 'one liners' on their own, but if you built a short sketch around them with two people chatting I think it would really work well.

A: my dad drinks a lot, he'd come home and play that game, shit your pants blame the dog
B: that's unfortunate
A: specially considering we didn't have a dog

etc etc.

second ons funny, first ones a bit over extended should just be a one liner.

The second one is really too complex to understand unless you read it a couple of times, and even then it seems a bit pointless.

It's a decent standup joke more than a read off the page one.