The Battle of Brandings 1066

The Battle of Brandings 1066

William: OK Matty, we're now a brand.

Mathilda: That's nice dear but ...

William: William the Conqueror, William the Bastard, William and Mathilda, Bill the Conk etc etc and all use of the name Norman. Ye scriveners of Sue, BowandArrowit and Runne have registered it in the Doomsday Book ...

Mathilda: It'll be nice to have the company ...

William: You'll have your company and I'll have mine ... Company-wise we're divorced ...

Mathilda: (nervously) Divorced ...?

William: It's a legal fiction ... It makes no sense but of course we are brutal and medieval ...

Mathilda: Oh, I see ... at least I think I do ...

William: And for good measure we - I mean I - I mean we two individually also have grabbed the brands Harold Godwinson and Edith - luckily both his lover and his wife have the same name - we Frenchies know how to do things!

Mathilda: Cheri ...

William: And we're - I mean I - I mean we two company-wise - are suing the Bayeux Tapestry weavers and their wives for unflattering brand infringement. Have you seen the nose on me, distinctly unflattering ...

Mathilda: But Cheri, I've just had a message from Edie, Harold's wife ...

William: Suing for peace, the olde cow, is she ...? Depending on my - or is it our? - charity?

Mathilda: Apparently she and Harold set up a company using the same scriveners before his unfortunate accident and branded (reads) "all the isles of Britain and any brands therein pertaining to the Kingdom and State, counties, districts and parishes including Normandy and its butter" and she's had an insurance company payout ...

William: Oh so that's how they're playing it - time to get really brutal and medieval ... Quick, wife©, we have to set up a stock exchange and use the power of the state to privatise everything in our part of Europe. In the meantime, get Doomsday Shares, Mergers and Acquisitions on the pigeon post - now!

I can't really figure out what this is all about I'm afraid.

It seems somewhat...specialised.

I kind of agree with the comments above. Apart from really not understanding the whole branding thing at all - probably just me being excessively dim, however - I think a sketch rooted in history is fine so long as you can assume the audience knows enough about the background to make sense of it. For instance, a sketch about the trenches in World War I would probably be fairly easy to get hold of. But the events of 1066 are a tad shadowy in the old collective memory & the figures (William and Mathilda etc) aren't easy to caricature because we don't know what they were like anyway.

Quote: Rupe @ 21st January 2014, 7:20 AM GMT

I kind of agree with the comments above. Apart from really not understanding the whole branding thing at all - probably just me being excessively dim, however - I think a sketch rooted in history is fine so long as you can assume the audience knows enough about the background to make sense of it. For instance, a sketch about the trenches in World War I would probably be fairly easy to get hold of. But the events of 1066 are a tad shadowy in the old collective memory & the figures (William and Mathilda etc) aren't easy to caricature because we don't know what they were like anyway.

View original

No problem with the historical setting. As Sellars & Yeatman realised 1066 is just about the only memorable date in English history, and we do know quite a lot about William's character:

http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/1186ASChron-William1.asp

But I am afraid this sketch left me baffled.

Hey, I baffled at least three or four posters on the British Comedy Guide © - is this a record?! Thanks for your feedback!

Make that five...

Quote: playfull @ 21st January 2014, 4:09 PM GMT

Make that five...

View original

I'll note that in my records, playfull

I don't get this either, although it strikes me that the idea of a branding company advising on regnal nicknames could make a funny sketch ("I don't want to be the Unready!")

Quote: gappy @ 21st January 2014, 5:42 PM GMT

I don't get this either, although it strikes me that the idea of a branding company advising on regnal nicknames could make a funny sketch ("I don't want to be the Unready!")

View original

I remember reading somewhere that it should be pronounced Unreedy, and it meant he wasn't too bright...

Unræd = badly advised

Quote: Tursiops @ 21st January 2014, 8:23 PM GMT

Unræd = badly advised

View original

Hwaet??

Quote: gappy @ 21st January 2014, 9:10 PM GMT

Hwaet??

View original

If only I'd taken more notice of the compulsory one year of Anglo-Saxon at uni, I could keep up with this convo

Swa cwaeth snottor on mode.