Micro-Sketch't

Test Tie.

[Business man in 'Next' looking through various Ties.]

[assistant sidles up]
Asst: Can I help?

Business man: Not really sure. [holding up a tie]

Asst: Wanna take it for a spin?

Business man: ok

Cut to:
[ Man and Asst walking through the city with a brief case, wearing the tie, they go into starbucks]

Then cut to:
[ Man in a business meeting gesticulating with colleagues at a table talking about figures and stamping his fist on the table, still weating tie, Assistant in background]

Then cut to:
[ Man standing on table in a bar with tie around his head, shirt on but no trousers, a beer in hand , white powder on face shouting 'IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY'RE POOR!!, whilst a gaggle of infantile business friends clap rhythmically and jeer and laugh. Assistant in background looking passive. ]

Then back to shop:
[ Both back in front of tie selection, man puts tie back]
Business man : hmmm, not really sure, Maybe another?

[back to searching through ties. Assisant still looking passive and helpful]

thats actually pretty damned sweet.

Yup. Liked it. Maybe a swanky suit in its entirety, not just the tie, would be another option for max visual impact.

Thanks guys !!!

Rupe, I see what you are saying, but I still really like the idea of taking a tie for a test 'wear' . A tie in itself is a pretty ludicrous thing. Serves very little purpose. The idea came up when I had to actually choose a tie in real life the other day in M&S ( real classy me). Confronted by a wall of ties of just about every colour conceivable I wondered for a brief second about trying them out like you would a car. The tie is one of those things you have to choose, it's a personal choice much like a car and I am surrounded by shops here in the city which are clambouring to offer the business community more and more choice. So you start with the absurd notion of taking a tie for a spin and then move onto the daily activities that the business man would take part in. There was an ad on telly with a similar theme for a car recently, so I like the fact that this sketch takes that theme of simpering salesmanship aimed at the business man and makes it completely ridiculous and then later turns it into an irreverent attack on city/business culture when it unwittingly reveals that amongst business meetings and allround good business stuff the man also like to spend his evening in an environment of total wantome (with a sugestion of illegality) excess.
I am surrounded by business people at work, so I like to get a dig in from time to time. Plus having a go at bankers is pretty popular at the moment, so for teeny sketch it ticks a few of my boxes. Hopefully it would raise a giggle as well!

It's good dan but it's not a teeny sketch. Look at production costs. Cartoon strip maybe?.

Or animated?

Great idea, I enjoyed that. Could really see that one and made me laugh. "It's not my fault they are poor!" The only think I would say is maybe not make it "Next" but maybe an actual Tailors or somewhere a bit posher/wankier. Somewhere where a banker would shop.

I really like that. If it were me, I'd add a final location in there, which is really weird: man fondling tie whilst sitting in the penguin enclsoure of the zoo, or whatever. Of course, the production costs are only getting larger at that point.

And, as Matty says, make it a swish gents' outfitters, not a High St retail outlet.

Thanks guys! Probably stubborness on my part, but I wouldn't want to use a swish tailor because it instantly brings to mind the enormous associations with a long plowed heritage of comedy tailors "oooooo, suit you sir, I'm free! oooo hasn't he got a big one, account I mean. " etc etc. I quite like lame, very british labels and names, I love name checking places like budgens or droll things like lemsip, I like when you mix the mundanity of british life with surreal absurdity. I wouldn't want any humour to be derived from tropes. I think the idea of an indifferent and unengaged 'Next/Topman' assistant standing around in his shiney suit and oversized 'Italian' collar, texting his friends whilst mr business goes about his daily routine works, for the type of surrealness that I am going for. I know surrealness is not everyones bag but you have to stay true to yourself I reckon.

I like the add-on of having a fourth crazy location like a zoo, but I wouldn't want to tack it on to the end of teh sketch but a much funnier way to do it would be to show two or three other sketches after, then just show the assistant standing on a rock in the zoo still texting his mate whilst the business man does something absurd in a differnt tie. That would be awesome.

In terms of production. I think it would be a nice little project, can't imagine it would cost very much. I've got a sony mini-hdv cam, I'm an av technician so reckon I'd be able to capture audio without too much bother. I thought about locations and obviously you wouldn't be able to use a real next or starbucks so I'd have to improvise. I'm a good prop maker so reckon I could knock up a 'set' of sorts. Borrow a load of ties etc. I'm sure there is a pub out there that would let me film a 2 second clip when they're not busy over half an hour if I bunged them £20 for the tips jar.

Besides, I haven't got that far yet. I thought I would write a few sketches first, before quitting my job and getting a £20000 loan.

Nice idea that.

Really like the idea, but think the businessman needs a better line to finish on. Something like "I was thinking more smart casual".

Quote: Ben @ 19th January 2014, 11:56 AM GMT

Really like the idea, but think the businessman needs a better line to finish on. Something like "I was thinking more smart casual".

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Yeah, that's really good. I was thinking something similar like 'not sure about the colour' or something like that but smart cas' is perfect! The phrase smart casual in itself makes me laugh. There is something ridiculous about it. Limmy has a sketch purely based on teh word and loads of men in shirts and jeans.