The queen doesn't microwave her swans
She ritually sacrifices them in the middle of a large pentangle
She then smears the swans blood all over her naked body before devouring it with her bare hands
She sometimes saves a bit and Philip has it cold on sandwiches for supper
God Lofty don't you know anything.
That's how Katie does it, it's all about the Dukan diet.
The queen eats cold beans from a tin with raw sprouts, then stalks Buck palace looking for Common wealth leaders to fart on.
The Nigerian civil war was caused by one truly eggy stinker.
Really?????
The sweaty old bastard!!
Phil actually doesn't eat anything having been kippered in the 1990s, he just requires periodic smoking.
Charles on the other hand is rumoured to have a years food inserted in his rectum on news years day.
As he has mortal fear he may get a sudden urge to fellate a footman and if he was eating at the time, he would risk choking.
'I should like to be the one who farts on Commonwealth leaders, choose me Mr Mainwearing, choose me.'
Stupid boy.
"...I have seen (Prince Charles) shape-shift into a reptilian and do all of the things the Queen does. I have seen him sacrifice children. There is a lot of rivalry between them for who gets to eat eat what part of the body and who gets to absorb the victim's last breath and steal their soul. I have seen Andrew participate and I have seen Prince Phillip and Charles sister (Anne) at the rituals, but they didn't participate when I was there. When Andrew shape-shifts, he looks more like one of the lizards. The royals are some of the worst. Ok, as far as enjoying the killing, enjoying the sacrifice, and eating the flesh, they are some of the worst of all of them. They don't care if you see it. Who are you going to tell, who is going to believe you? They feel that it is their birthright and they love it. They love it."
*can't tell if lofthouse actually believes that or not...*
Nope!
Phew! Didn't think so. 
The women who started Netmums got OBEs, because no one had even heard of babies, never mind had one until they came along -
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 1st January 2014, 3:28 PM GMTNetmums
I always hear that as a command rather than as a moniker.
Obi Wan Kenobe got an OBE
Would he be Obe Wan OBE
Quote: sootyj @ 1st January 2014, 7:24 PM GMTObi Wan Kenobe got an OBE
Would he be Obe Wan OBE
Yes - but he'd still be plain old Ken to his mates.