Looking for a pet

INT. A PET SHOP
MAN
I'm looking for a pet. Something small.

PET SHOP OWNER
I've got just the thing. Here we are.

THE PET SHOP OWNER SHOWS THE MAN AN EMPTY CAGE

MAN
There's nothing in there.

PET SHOP OWNER
That's what I would have said this morning, sir, before I read the Mail Online. But experimental data just in from CERN proves almost conclusively that that cage might, at some point in time, contain a Higgs Bison.

MAN (PEERS INTO THE CAGE)
It must be a very small bison.

PET SHOP OWNER
It would be. They're elemental.

MAN
How much is it?

PET SHOP OWNER
Fiver?

MAN
Sounds fair enough. Ooh - what do they eat?

PET SHOP OWNER
Photons. Or was it electrons?

MAN
Better give me a bag of each. And some worming tablets.

END

edited to correct typo ("He we are" became "Here we are")

Good concept, and nice and tight.

Perhaps there could be a gag that, although the creature is very small, it needs a large exercise run - say, quite a few miles underneath a major European lake.

Nice.

That's very good like am even more postmodern dead parrot sketch

Ends a little without point for my tastes thougj

Quote: sootyj @ 23rd December 2013, 4:14 PM GMT

Ends a little without point for my tastes thougj

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If you had a parasitically infested Higgs bison you'd understand the point of worming tablets.

Nice sketch, I thought at first he was going to say it was Schrödinger's cat.

Quote: Carlos Manwelly @ 23rd December 2013, 6:31 PM GMT

Nice sketch, I thought at first he was going to say it was Schrödinger's cat.

View original

Thanks, Carlos. Schrödinger's cat was out the back, crapping in the neighbour's garden (or not, as the case may be).

Liked it.

I like the concept of a hypothetical pet, but don't think you've nailed it here. Not sure I really buy the bison/bosun wordplay. Maybe I'm over thinking it though.

Quote: Ben @ 23rd December 2013, 7:31 PM GMT

I like the concept of a hypothetical pet, but don't think you've nailed it here. Not sure I really buy the bison/bosun wordplay. Maybe I'm over thinking it though.

View original

It all hinges on the customer being ignorant.

Quote: sootyj @ 23rd December 2013, 4:14 PM GMT

like am even more postmodern dead parrot sketch

View original

That's why I didn't like it so much. It would have been better if there was a bit more 'silly' in it, though I liked the last line.

Not sure I buy the bison wordplay, and I do no think the sketch needs it, it works without. Feel the potential is not fully realised though; I know the advice is always to keep it short, but sometimes you need to play with the idea a little more to draw the funny out.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ 23rd December 2013, 8:28 PM GMT

That's why I didn't like it so much. It would have been better if there was a bit more 'silly' in it, though I liked the last line.

View original

Quote: Tursiops @ 23rd December 2013, 8:42 PM GMT

Not sure I buy the bison wordplay, and I do no think the sketch needs it, it works without. Feel the potential is not fully realised though; I know the advice is always to keep it short, but sometimes you need to play with the idea a little more to draw the funny out.

View original

It was the boson/bison wordplay that "inspired" the sketch, and I can't really imagine it working without it. Once I had the basic idea, the sketch practically wrote itself, and I was happy to settle for what was essentially a first draft. I might have a go at beefing it up a bit in a day or two, but whether I do or I don't, I do agree that it could benefit from being developed that bit more.

Thanks both (and Lee), for taking the time to comment.

Oh - and I wasn't thinking of the parrot sketch when I wrote it (but that's not to say that it wasn't a subconscious influence).

You could tag on an ending scene where he brings it back. Maybe its escaped/died or turned into a wormhole (and a dead parrot/Australian astronaut/lonely star's fallen out of it) and the guy wants to buy it a mate... etc.

If your going to talk about the Higgs Boson, I think the more technical you could make it the better, I like the worming tablets for the worm hole, just think it needs more of the same!