British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,379

I doubt the f**ktard is capable of wiring a plug

I don't think you have to be clever to order your flunkeys to murder your ex girlfriend or your uncle.

Quote: zooo @ 14th December 2013, 2:04 PM GMT

I don't think you have to be clever to order your flunkeys to murder your ex girlfriend or your uncle.

c.f. The Red Queen of Alice's Wonderland.

"Off with His Head!"

Quote: zooo @ 14th December 2013, 2:04 PM GMT

I don't think you have to be clever to order your flunkeys to murder your ex girlfriend or your uncle.

Interesting (yet predictable) coverage of this issue by the mainland Chinese media: Kim Jong Un is a good egg and his wily uncle was a traitor seeking power, so he had to go.

China is responsible for what is North Korea - given that Kim Il Sung was getting his arse kicked until China came to his aid to stop MacArthur.

Quote: billwill @ 14th December 2013, 2:35 PM GMT

c.f. The Red Queen of Alice's Wonderland.

"Off with His Head!"

Ha, they are actually very alike!

Quote: Oldrocker @ 14th December 2013, 1:38 AM GMT

North Korea.

Is it just me or does Kim Jong-Un just not look bright enough to be masterminding all these things in NK?

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Laughing out loud

Laughing out loud

Nigella Lawson allowed her children to smoke marijuana, the television cook's former personal assistant told a court today.
Giving evidence at her fraud trial, Elisabetta Grillo, was quizzed about a transaction she made in the duty-free department of a New York airport, where she spent £70.
Asked what she had spent the money on, the 41-year-old told the prosecutor lawyer Jane Carpenter: "It was cigarettes for the children. I bought them there and Nigella allowed me to buy."
Ms Carpenter responded: "What on earth do you think you were doing buying cigarettes for underage children?," to which Ms Grillo replied: "Well, if Nigella Lawson let them smoke weed."
Before Ms Grillo's response, there was an audible gasp of "Oh my goodness" from her defence team.
At this point she was interrupted by Judge Robin Johnson who said: "Miss Lawson allowed them to smoke?" Grillo replied: "yes."
The case subsequently adjourned for lunch and Elisabetta will continue giving evidence after the break.

But, she didn't go around strangling anyone.

I think this trial is going to be mainly hearsay, or rather hersay.

I expect there are some parents who would prefer their kids to do it at home, rather than doing it elsewhere, and coming into contact with dodgy drug dealers.

If that story, told by someone trying to make Nigella look bad, is even true.

I don't understand why every single detail of this trial is being made public knowledge. I don't see how it's in the public interest to report so much on this trial - it's just gossip. Whether or not that stuff is true, it's now a part of Nigella Lawson's public profile and she won't be able to shake it off. The whole thing seems like an excuse to get as much dirt on Lawson and Saatchi and I'm amazed it's allowed.

Basically as they've already proved she's a big liar, and paid thousands of squids to conceal stuff.

They can say what they like, she's not a credible witness in her own defence.

If it was some woman living on a council estate giving her kids weed there'd be uproar

If it is true shes a disgrace

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