Ted Page 9

Quote: Marc P @ 7th December 2013, 12:29 PM GMT

Well saying that there are a lot of deluded failure on here and he is one of them.. I don't know... It's not coming across as kind to me.

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it's certainly not intended that way, but on reflection it was probably insulting and unnecessary, I needed a way to describe him to express that he would be missed and thought "deluded failure" would be ok when it's intended as a humourous observation not an insult.

I think your reading to much into it, however I've changed it so as not to offend.

I think it reads better now anyway.

Please accept my apologies for implying some of the posters on here are deluded failures, I'm sure you are all a roaring success. (with the exception of myself, who is very much a deluded failure!)

Funny hahaha please stop this as youre becoming a bore.

I've no idea who you are, but you're becoming a dog endlessly returning to his vomit.

And after regurgitatitng the same mess for the 10th time, surely even the taste of bile and old gristle must be too much for even the hungriest hound.

I really don't care why you have a false persona, just do something more interesting with it.

And stop trying to f**k the life back into a dead cat.

you really can be vile sometime sooty!

I'm actually trying to help.

I've just read the poem, and it doesn't seem too unkind. One thing, though: if you start with an abab rhyming scheme, you should stick to it throughout.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 7th December 2013, 12:20 PM GMT

I think it's sad that he would leave this forum not because he had no talent, not because he had no use for it, but because he simple could not learn to accept criticism and did not understand that success isn't guaranteed just because you feel your talent is exceptional.

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1. None of your business

2. You have already posted 6-7 unkind posts on the subject of Teddy's failings as you perceive them to be. I have seen Restraining Orders given for less.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 7th December 2013, 12:20 PM GMT

and remind us all that passion is not an excuse for rudeness

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Quite right. So what's your excuse?

Quote: beaky @ 8th December 2013, 2:09 PM GMT

I've just read the poem, and it doesn't seem too unkind.

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A less than flattering poem about an individual who may read it is hardly kind.

Thanks Jennie, I have noticed that your Idea of Funny and Mine are worlds apart, so I wouldn't expect you to like this, Its like trying to explain to a vegetarian who thinks your evil for eating meet why you enjoy hamburgers, all they are going to see is the bad!

But I do appreciate your comments, however this is a forum for funny stuff, so, like topical all topical humour it's going to have a victim, but as long as the joke is the reason your telling the story not to have a go at the person, then I think it's ok.

How many Nelson Mandela Jokes are Flying around the internet at the moment? doesn't mean you have to dislike him to like the joke, nor does it mean you have to find it funny, its just humour not religion.

Funny strange, this bit isn't a comedy forum, it is a comedy critique form,. Your poem is really poor at a number of levels. But you don't want critique so am at a loss why you post it in critique. Carry on attacking the man when he is gone if you you want to... but if this is your best effort at poetry" You know... maybe try another medium?

thank you marc,
of course I want critique,
I actually love righting poems,
I'm not the one who keeps going on about the content,
If it's a crap poem then tell me,
if it's funny let me know,
but please stop judging me on the content only!

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 8th December 2013, 9:01 PM GMT

I actually love righting poems

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I'm afraid this one needs a fair bit of righting.

I know that was low, but it's also true. Chuck this one away, Funny, and start again on something new.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 8th December 2013, 9:01 PM GMT

thank you marc,
of course I want critique,
I actually love righting poems,
I'm not the one who keeps going on about the content,
If it's a crap poem then tell me,
if it's funny let me know,
but please stop judging me on the content only!

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It's not funny, it's mean. Yes. It's crap. Poems are about art which is celebrating the human experience. Try that. Content is everything.

There was an old writer called Mark
Who considered critiquing a bit of a lark
His views were cutting
You could read his tutting
But he never took a shot in the dark

Oi! Less of the old!

Second line cut 'bit of a'.
Third line add 'quite' before tutting. And fourth line ' Imagine him tutting'

But I have had a shot in the dark to be fair

Quote: Carlos Manwelly @ 7th December 2013, 2:23 AM GMT

Sglen I think I love you too.

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Oh my!

Sorry if I got annoying at all, Carlos! Reading back tonight, I think I'd totally misunderstood what you were trying to say. I agree that the technical stuff comes after all the other stuff, I just thought you were saying technical stuff should never be mentioned, and I thought that went too far. Might also be the proofreader in me - used to do that for a living - it makes you a crazy pedant after a while.

Should that be a semi-colon after mentioned or no comma?