Thinking about critique, I thought I'd use or perhaps abuse it.
Too see if these slightly peculiar jobs were funny.
I mean I got good feedback, but all too often I do wonder. Was I funny or was the client just a bit radio rentals.
Honesty welcome.
The first was for a chap who wanted to do his first standup routine. But rather than ask me to write or edit anything. He sent me 30 of his favourite jokes and asked why I thought they were funny.
So here's the first 10, the jokes by other comics are in regular. My explanations in itallic, well they were so the second jokes are all by me. I also got bored so I added a similar version for each, feedback welcome.
1."You know that strange sound you used to hear when you were going to sleep? That was me CHEWING the bed, out of sheer boredom! Oooh, how I hate you, I hate you so much it gives me energy! I have to get up early in the morning to hate you because there isn't time enough in the day."
Comedic over exaggeration. Where the idea is too an idea and blow it up beyond all reason. This joke works because it's an irrational amount of extra exaggeration;
e.g. not
"I hate you all the time" but "I wake up early because hating you all the time that I am awake isn't enough"
Another example might be
"My dad was so mean he'd cut all of his quarters into eights."
2.I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
Twisted expectation, we expect this to be an explanation of why they stopped using drugs instead it becomes a confession of using drugs and by using the word "to" through out even when it changes meaning it keeps you thinking in the same direction.
"If a vet picks up your cat don't say "put him down" or he'll kill it and charge you $100"
3.When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying, "Here, you throw this away".
This is a negative, where the punchline is to be as misanthropic as possible, it's very much like the over exaggeration but the emphasis is more on the tellers misanthropy than the exaggeration for example
"I like to sneak into orphanages on Christmas Eve and leave all the kids notes saying "better luck next year"
4.Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, , so I say, "I'm gonna go shave, too".
This is a surreal joke, the idea is to say something weird and irrational, but still linked to the original idea. So it makes sense with twisted, tortured, logic for example,
"Roses are red violets are blue, but you'd have to explain this to a dog as they're colour blind."
5.I bought a 7 dollar pen because I always lose pens and I was sick of not caring.
Illogical logic, sort of like a surreal joke. The idea is the punchline isn't surreal, it makes complete sense. But in a over exaggeratedly sensible way, in this case I lose pens all the time so if I buy an expensive one atleast I'll
care about it. Another example
"You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink, or teach it particle physics, there's a lot of things you can't do to a horse."
6.Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything!
Deliberate ignorance, making a remark that apparently you think makes you look smart but actually shows up your ignorance. In sitcom this is known as unreliable narration, which basically means you don't know what you're talking about. The trick is it should sound like you know what you're talking about, then the penny drops that you don't for example.
"I went on a diet where I'm only allowed one plate per meal, now I need to find a restaurant that allows me to bring my own 6 foot plate."
7.Being single at 41 after ten years of marriage and two kids is difficult. That's like having a bunch of money in the currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.
This is a sort of surreal joke, where the idea is that the joke teller sets up an idea and then follows through with it to its logical end. So love is like a currency in a country that doesn't exist anymore, another example would be
"I told my mother I was the cream of my team at work, she replied, they must be skimming the milk there."
8.I have a lot of beliefs and I live by none of 'em. That's just the way I am. They're just my beliefs. I just like believing them. I like that part. They're my little "believies." They make me feel good about who I am. But if they get in the way of a thing I want, or I want to jack off or something, I f**kin' do that.
Illogical logic, in this case more rational than the earlier sample just more pointless. This one can be seen as emphasizing the joke tellers misanthropy (many jokes are misanthropic).
"I take 5 bucks in change with me whenever I go out, so I know I'm choosing not to give to the homeless."
9.Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it's true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce ... That would be sad. If two people were married and they were really happy and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times.
Again this is illogical logic, taking a sensible argument to its ultimate end. I really don't like this joke though, it's just kind of sour.
"If you're going to get a divorce, just walk out without an explanation. It'll save your kids thousands in therapy working out why they hate you"
10. When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move... I'm locking the door now.'
Alternative perspective, this takes a normal situation and suddenly changes the perspective to change how you view the situation.
Another example is
"If I'm really bad my mother says "wait till your father comes home" he died a year ago"
You've got something there but you change it to 'only five spoonfuls of food' or something. "No one said how big the spoon could be"