Naughty milk man

this came to me in a blazing prophetic vision.

So its probably not funny, its your problem if you read it. Haven't you got something better to do.

MILK MAN WALKS UP MRS JONES PATH WHISTLING CHEERFULLY AND CARRYING A WIRE BASKET OF MILK BOTTLES.

MRS JONES COMES OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR

MILKMAN
Morning Mrs Jones

MRS JONES
The usual please.

MILKMAN
Pint of Full fat for the tea

THROWS A BOTTLE OF MILK THROUGH MRS JONES'S WINDOW

MILKMAN
Semi skimmed for the cereal

THROWS THE BOTTLE THROUGH THE OTHER WINDOW

MILKMAN
Right I'm off

MRS JONES
Aren't you forgetting something

MILKMAN
Silly me half a pint of cream for the cat.

MILKMAN HURLS A BOTTLE THERE IS A YOWEL INDICATING HE HAS HIT THE CAT

MRS JONES
Thanks milkman, nice weather we're having.

MILKMAN
Sorry can't stop I've got to rape the postman....come here you bitch

THE MILKMAN DROPS HIS BASKET AND RUNS AFTER A POSTMAN WHO HAS JUST APPEARED AND FLEES IN PANIC

End it after cat and it is a nice little quickie.

I think you're right

Hey Sooty.. always fun to read your stuff... I haven't been on here for a while, and I must say your spelling and overall grammar is much more professional than it was a few years ago... not sure if that is good, or if we have lost the essential untamed Sootyj?? Anyway, I like this sketch! How about you end it with the Milkman leaving just as the Postman arrives - they punch each other in greeting - Mrs Jones greets postie who then sets light to the mail and puts it through the letterbox. Mrs J thanks him, and he's on his way - just as the Gas Man arrives....etc etc...

Quote: sootyj @ 27th November 2013, 11:30 PM GMT

I think you're right

View original

I don't, I like "rape the postman". Quit after that bomb, though, don't waste a few words afterwards, because the battle will definitely be won or lost by then!

Quote: sootyj @ 27th November 2013, 11:30 PM GMT

I think you're right

View original

I always am. 10% please.

Thanks Blobby thanks all no money for Our Willcam wouldnt want to get him in trouble with the social

hope no one minds me bumping this, I sorta like it

I agree with Will - "rape the postman" is quite funny but too big a step from the minor mischief of the previous elements so it jars rather than amusingly ramps up.

Sorry Sooty, maybe I am just too old. True your fans like it. I don't mean to be rude, but that is juvenile tosh.