Personal Injury Claims Sketch

Ext. Street

A man is walking down the street when he is accosted by a suited man with a clipboard.

Suited Man:
Excuse me, sir, this won't take a minute, but have you been involved in any workplace accidents in the last 18 months?

Man:
Oh no, no, I haven't, sorry!

Suited Man:
Excellent! Now, would you like to be involved in one?

Man:
Sorry? What?

Suited Man:
I represent a small firm specialising in engineering workplace accidents which result in a guaranteed claim.

Man:
That's interesting as I was thinking about buying a new patio.

Suited Man:
We're talking about more than a patio here. We're talking Rolex watch territory.

Man:
So what would actually happen? You set up a trip hazard or something for me?

Suited Man:
Trips are a little ordinary. We tend to go for something juicy. Like an out of control crane.

Man:
That might be a bit tough. I work in a butchers.

Suited Man:
Not a problem! We could arrange for the frozen carcass of an Aberdeen Angus to fall on you and cause complete paralysis.

Man:
A Rolex watch and a new patio, you say?

Suited Man:
With the necessary wheelchair access.

Man:
Where do I sign?

The suited man smiles and hands the man his clipboard.

ENDS

Spam post on behalf of a bunch of possible crooks going by the moniker 'Abs Law'. Muscley.

That may be the best critique I've ever had.

Thanks spammer for bringing this to my attention.

Not a bad sketch, neatly written but it's kinda lacking in jokes and the punchline doesn't twist or do anything

So not that good

The whole sketch is a twist in itself, but it probably does need some sort of twist at the end to take it elsewhere. I think I was subconsciously aping the Big Train sketch where they're collecting money to kill tigers.

Then maybe its pacing, the fact that he's going to be paralysed maybe needs to be more of a surprise.

As soon as she said crane I thought, I know where this is going.

And I was right.

Nice sketch - begging for a decent punch.
Worth working on, I reckon.

Thanks, Lazzard. I'd forgotten all about it until it got spammed back into existence. I'll put this one into the maybe pile.

This line is a bit exposition-ey, when it should be funny :

Suited Man:
I represent a small firm specialising in engineering workplace accidents which result in a guaranteed claim.

This is where you reveal the premise of the sketch, so it should be where you get your big laugh.

Other than that it is fine, but it does seem to need something a bit extra at the end.