British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,366

PLEASE POST SOURCES!!!!

Google is full of em' !!

Here's one

http://www.express.co.uk/news/showbiz/443229/Roy-Harper-accused-of-child-sex-abuse

Its real but then have you read the lyrics to save all your lkisses for me

No

But if you hum it, I'll play it

Quote: lofthouse @ 15th November 2013, 7:56 PM GMT

No

But if you hum it, I'll play it on your pink kazoo

And I suppose I'll have to hit the hi note....again

Haha!

A man nailed his scrotum to Red Square as a 'metaphor for apathy' and is now going to go to prison for 5 years for it. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-24954570

Eh?

Quote: lofthouse @ 15th November 2013, 6:21 PM GMT

Folk singer Roy Harper has been charged with sexually abusing a girl from the age of 12.

Looking the bright side I had a Roy Harper size whole in my CD collection; this should help bring down the cost of his back catalogue.

I suspect he'll have a big hole in his back catalogue when he ends up in prison

Quote: Nogget @ 14th November 2013, 2:52 PM GMT

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/10442298/Get-drunk-without-the-hangover-on-Professor-Nutts-pill.html

"Prof David Nutt was interviewed about a drug which he claimed could mimic the sensation of alcohol without the health risks,"

If he can also come up with a drug that mimics the taste of Harvey's Sussex Best Bitter he will be onto something.

Quote: sootyj @ 15th November 2013, 11:32 PM GMT

I suspect he'll have a big hole in his back catalogue when he ends up in prison

Laughing out loud

Quote: Tursiops @ 15th November 2013, 11:40 PM GMT

"Prof David Nutt was interviewed about a drug which he claimed could mimic the sensation of alcohol without the health risks,"

If he can also come up with a drug that mimics the taste of Harvey's Sussex Best Bitter he will be onto something.

Not to mention discussing why the youth of today are spoiled with their iphones and their perfect skin and hair, with the locals at the Pig and Whistle.

Whilst getting an ample ogle at the barmaids bosoms and sneaking back into the office, without the young, virile office manager telling me off in front of all the other staff.

In my day theyd all be doing national service and shooting Africans,
find my drug that can do that Dr David Motherf**king Brazil Nuts

I find a sufficent amount of coke mixed with vodka sipped through out the day has the desired effect.

Young people eh

Don't know they were born, most of them delivered by cesarean section these days.

Quote: sootyj @ 15th November 2013, 11:54 PM GMT

I find a sufficent amount of coke mixed with vodka sipped through out the day has the desired effect.

Young people eh

Don't know they were born, most of them delivered by cesarean section these days.

.........though only 68% breastfed.

Quote: sootyj @ 15th November 2013, 7:37 PM GMT

Its real but then have you read the lyrics to save all your lkisses for me

Or the lyrics to Love for Sale by Cole Porter

Love for sale
appetizing young love for sale
lovethat's fresh and still unspoiled
lovethat's only slightly soiled
love for sale

who will buy
who would like to sample my supply
who's prepared to pay the price
for a trip to paradise
love for sale

let the poets pipe of love
in their childish ways
I know every type of love
better far than they
if you want the thrill of love
I have been through the mill of love
old love
new love
every love but true love

love for sale
appetizing young love for sale
if you want to buy my wares follow me and climb the stairs
love for sale

Quote: Guilbert @ 16th November 2013, 8:49 AM GMT

Or the lyrics to Love for Sale by Cole Porter

Love for sale
appetizing young love for sale
lovethat's fresh and still unspoiled
lovethat's only slightly soiled
love for sale

who will buy
who would like to sample my supply
who's prepared to pay the price
for a trip to paradise
love for sale

let the poets pipe of love
in their childish ways
I know every type of love
better far than they
if you want the thrill of love
I have been through the mill of love
old love
new love
every love but true love

love for sale
appetizing young love for sale
if you want to buy my wares follow me and climb the stairs
love for sale

Nothing especially disturbing or sinister there - it's just a song about prostitution from the perspective of the prostitute from a musical about the various people you encounter in New York.

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