British Comedy Guide

The Car Thread

A thread to discuss various car issues and maybe share pictures of your cars present or past.

I'll start the ball rolling with a question about deicer. I often see extra strength deicer for sale which is more expensive than the standard stuff, but is it worth it? Does it work quicker? Is it less likely to refreeze?

I like the idea of a car thread, good thinking Ben!

Once you de-ice at the time you are going to actually use the car I see no point in paying for anything more than the cheapo brand, the heaters will do the rest.

Yeah, I thought it was pretty pointless, but they always make the extra strength ones look so alluring by giving them a pinky colour.

There's only one type of car really really worth having:

Image

You have to love her and cherish her and buy a house for her and care for her like a wife for 44 years.

You have to polish her and feed her and every 10 years or so you have to strip her (or even take her body off and dismantle her completely) and clean all her inside bits and replace any broken or worn bits. Then you paint and reassemble all her inside bits and send her body off for a professional face lift.

Then when her body comes back you patiently align her moveable bits and do up her nuts to the right torque and put her body back on and massage her all over with car wax. Then feed her with classic motor oils and the finest petrol. http://www.lotuselan.net/forums/lotus-elan-f19/getting-ogu-roadworthy-again-t26101.html

Then you take her to those nasty MOT inspectors who pinch her and prod her and shine lights under her skirts and finally certify her with a piece of green paper.

Then finally you can fly with her in utter bliss. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOOuUKQrmbE

:)

Quote: billwill @ 10th November 2013, 7:47 PM GMT

There's only one type of car really really worth having:

Image

You have to love her and cherish her and buy a house for her and care for her like a wife for 44 years.

You have to polish her and feed her and every 10 years or so you have to strip her (or even take her body off and dismantle her completely) and clean all her inside bits and replace any broken or worn bits. Then you paint and reassemble all her inside bits and send her body off for a professional face lift.

Blimey it's Swiss Tony

After all that, do you shag it too?

Quote: lofthouse @ 10th November 2013, 7:57 PM GMT

Blimey it's Swiss Tony

After all that, do you shag it too?

How uncouth!

Where do you send her off to, Bill, and what does the 'face lift' entail?

Quote: Ben @ 10th November 2013, 8:03 PM GMT

Where do you send her off to, Bill, and what does the 'face lift' entail?

Actually it's more that some of the other owners of Elans have sent their car bodies off to be repainted. Mine had a full body-off refurb back in 1983 at Vegantune in Spalding after she had owned me for 14 years.

Her most recent face-lift (major repaint) was back in year 2000 after a bit of a bent nose situation, but the body wasn't taken off for that one. By then Vegantune Spalding had gone bust and the assets bought up by some other guys in Finchley, so the 2000 repair/repaint was by Vegantune of Finchley.

Alas they too have now gone bust.

Usually many other Elan owners, to save money on labour, perform the stripping of the body themselves. Basically it involves taking every square inch of existing paint off the body with nothing but a small 1 inch wide scraper. That takes many, many man-hours even though it is a small car.

Then the whole body is sanded smooth and any nicks & dents filled with fresh resin filler and then sanded smooth again. If there are any cracks in the fibreglass the top coat of fibreglass (called the Gell Coat) has to be ground away, then a new layer put on top and then that sanded flat and smooth. Only when the body shape is perfect does it make sense to send it off to the paintshop.

;)My chap has always wanted a sporty car? well He has bought his first... an old 'Toyota Celica Coupe'....goes fast excellent condition!! first of many I think!!

Also son has recently purchased a 'Renault Megane Dymonique convertable'...

All a bit different from our Zsara?.... lordy! Part of the 'Manopause'?...

I went in one of these as far as Gatwick once.

It's an Oldsmobile -

Image

It looks slightly like Father Christmas should be driving that.

*whispers* He can't. It's not a real car zooo...

:O

Quote: zooo @ 11th November 2013, 9:50 AM GMT

It looks slightly like Father Christmas should be driving that.

The driver was as big as Father Christmas. He owned several TV stations in Ohio.

We were pursued by two black limousines and a trailer truck with cameras so I'm known in that part of the States.

I was just walking beside a petrol garage in Purley when they ordered me into the car.

He wasn't the Ohio Jimmy Savile I hope?

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