British Comedy Guide

Caption Competition - Win a conference ticket Page 3

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If someone turns up wearing the same fancy dress costume, you're buggered.

Does that chat up line ever work

:D

'Sootyj was surprised to find a chat-up line that worked'

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After 2 and half years of marriage and a giant-headed baby, Kate was sick of the Royals and "their ways".

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Stop Mr. Blunkett! Your wife is over there!

or

Revealed: More damning evidence against Dave Lee Travis.

or

DLT's defence: 'she wasn't underage, and she was a man!'.

I have several more DLTs but I think I'll stop there.

when I said I wanted a greasy blt

At the very first British Comedy Guide Conference a gatecrasher is removed.

<3 Shh.. just keep walking, and they'll think we have come as Siamese twins

It can't be an orgy because there aren't any titters.

When I said strictly come dancing this wasn't what I had in mind!

If you'd let us wear clothes with pockets it wouldn't be such a pain in the arse to find your keys.

It's ok, people always stare when I'm in a Jag with the top down.

"The name's Lurcio, not Twerkio."

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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

No need for that mate I'd have given you wank if someone hadn't photo shopped my f**king arms orf!

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