British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,321

People who want you to sponsor them for a charity thing just because they vaguely know you.
And, it always seems to be that they want £5 - and they want it even before they have done it.

I was once in a pub when a cancer charity crew invaded it. They went round with a bucket collecting money from everyone. They had official looking badges and everything (but who knows)
When the bucket was shaken in my direction, I politely said 'no thank you' and the shaker said - 'I hope you get liver cancer then'

In this age of smart phones just ask if they mind you googling them, it's also illegal for them to pester you when collecting for cash donations (chugging is diferent)

So legit charities, never, ever ask their collectors to do it.

Quote: Ben @ October 31 2013, 6:26 PM GMT

I was in a Wetherspoons yesterday sat on some stools at little ledge which runs along the length of the pub and gives you room to eat and drink. Anyway, my girlfriend and I were waiting for our food to come over when this man suddenly starts plonking a load of used glasses next to me on the ledge, so that his family can have a clean table to sit at. I thought this was rather rude and said "Here, mate, can you ask for them to be cleared away rather than dumping them here?" to which he replied "It's not my job to clear the tables!". I then reiterated that he shouldn't dump them next to me as I'm about to eat, but he claimed as there was an unused stool next to me that the space was empty. You know, in the smallest possible way he had a vague point, but I still think he was being a c**t. What am I to do though? He's about 60 and out with his family. I can't go slamming the glasses back on his table and calling him an ignorant c**t, so I just left it. Anyway, I was pissed off.

That is so incredibly rude. I would've called him a c**t, so well done for being a more mature person than me.

Quote: Oldrocker @ November 1 2013, 12:20 AM GMT

Movember

Yes, great if you want to donate then do so. A worthy cause.

But do we really have to have all this 'I'm doing it look, aren't I wonderful?' crap.

Donate.

And then shut the f**k up.

Innit. I feel sorry for the dapper gents who have nice taches having their time and effort and style overshadowed by a bunch of dull whippersnappers who think they're doing something impressive and useful in a totes ironic what-japes! way, when all they've done is been the victim of a corporate marketing campaign.

Quote: Ben @ October 31 2013, 6:26 PM GMT

I was in a Wetherspoons yesterday sat on some stools at little ledge which runs along the length of the pub and gives you room to eat and drink. Anyway, my girlfriend and I were waiting for our food to come over when this man suddenly starts plonking a load of used glasses next to me on the ledge, so that his family can have a clean table to sit at. I thought this was rather rude and said "Here, mate, can you ask for them to be cleared away rather than dumping them here?" to which he replied "It's not my job to clear the tables!". I then reiterated that he shouldn't dump them next to me as I'm about to eat, but he claimed as there was an unused stool next to me that the space was empty. You know, in the smallest possible way he had a vague point, but I still think he was being a c**t. What am I to do though? He's about 60 and out with his family. I can't go slamming the glasses back on his table and calling him an ignorant c**t, so I just left it. Anyway, I was pissed off.

What a c**t

But Whetherspoons seems to attract them, my cheap steak Tuesday was near ruined by some one clearing their throat whilst reading the Racing Post for what seemed an hour.

In future use your dashing, youthful good looks and flirt outrageously with his wife.

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Quote: sootyj @ November 1 2013, 11:34 AM GMT

"What a c**t!"

Does that chat up line ever work?

Does that chat up line ever work?

This gag is starting to piss me off a bit Whistling nnocently

Finally some one has broken and it only took about a year.

Now onto the next fiendishly irritating meme.

Mu ha ha! I am the wost super villain.

I am MEME SPIRITED!

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ November 1 2013, 11:51 AM GMT
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Does that chat up line ever work?

Actually it's the award I get to handout at the Bluebells nudist colony every June.

Quote: Harridan @ November 1 2013, 11:54 AM GMT

This gag is starting to piss me off a bit Whistling nnocently

Golden rule: Do a gag as long as the people want to hear it. When they're starting to get annoyed by it do it another two or three years and then stop.
But I know what you mean.

Quote: sootyj @ November 1 2013, 11:34 AM GMT

But Whetherspoons seems to attract them, my cheap steak Tuesday was near ruined by some one clearing their throat whilst reading the Racing Post for what seemed an hour.

Laughing out loud

Wetherspoons are boring as hell, not even a bit of music to break the monotony and a TV in every corner, urgh.
I went into what I thought was a lovely country pub the other week but inside it resembled some sort of beauty salon with all modern shitty decor...what's wrong with a bit of spit and sawdust??

Quote: Shandonbelle @ November 1 2013, 1:20 PM GMT

what's wrong with a bit of spit and sawdust??

I'm constantly amazed that you were asked to leave your job as an environmental health officer...

:D

Quote: Harridan @ November 1 2013, 11:54 AM GMT

This gag is starting to piss me off a bit

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I hate to imagine what your image search for that looked like!

Quote: Nogget @ November 1 2013, 2:01 PM GMT
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Are they clackers or quackers?

Knackers

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