I thought it was inventive and funny. I liked it so much I wish I had thought of it.
The Rather Common House of Horror. Page 2
Steve, very well-written, but too clever to work well in my view.
I don't think it helps that the weakest ghoul - the trampire - is introduced first. The swearwolf did make me laugh - especially the detail of his curses fading into the distance, but when the mummy appears it starts to feel really worked at and buffed over rather than an organic sketch.
You probably wrote it in a few minutes, but for me this is a case of less is more.
Good points Godot.
I think the ones you can write in a few minutes are often your best ones.
This wasn't one of those though.
It was a sketch about a Trampire that didn't really work with things added on later and trying to get from A to D as quick as possible.
So it wasn't really an organic sketch & I agree it shows.
But I did want to see if the ideas within were funny enough to put it on the maybe pile.
Really liked it. Almost makes me think I should visit Critique more.
Bumpkin
I liked it, the dialogue was very good 