British Comedy Guide

Sootyj's kickstarter

Hi

I've decided to put together an exciting new pilot, but I need you the lovely people of BCG's money.

Bascially I've bought the original Emu puppet (or it might have been an old sock at a Jumble sale). And with a tramp I've hired to play Rod Hull I intend to remake the beloved kids show "Emu's magic windmill."
I will be playing Grotbags I figure this will cost approximately £50,000 to produce.

But don't worry I won't just be asking you for money and crying when you don't pay up (this isn't the BCG meet up).

You can get the following bonuses.

£1 I will phone you up and call you a cheap bastard

£5 The tramp will phone you up and call you a cheap bastard

£5.50 Either I or the tramp will assault your crotch with the emu puppet in a public place.

£10 I will join you for dinner.

£15 I will leave your home

£20 I will leave without taking a dump in the airing cupboard.

£1000 Helen Lederer will join you for dinner.

£5000 I will live in your house for a year yelling "there's somebody at the door" when ever the door bell rings.

£50,000 I will marry you.
So whose the first to pay?

(cheques to be made to "TheFallingStarOfflicense")

Laughing out loud

How much to move the TV aerial on my roof?

A surprisingly high price

Quote: sootyj @ October 20 2013, 3:10 PM BST

A surprisingly high price

Sounds reasonable. Alas no income.

But I am about to crowd fund the Gorbals dressed as The Reverse Robin Hood.

Should the way of the future turn out to be now, they'll be a quick cheque to the Perry Como offie.

No catch involved obviously.

Great menu . .

I'll have 38, 54 and fried rice with prawn crackers.

What do I get for 50p?

A kiss from your true love

How much for a good, hard shag?

Does that chat up line...

Quote: lofthouse @ October 21 2013, 8:49 PM BST

How much for a good, hard shag?

Does that chat up line ever work?

I dunno £50 I need to get a croc outfit.

Can I wear my zebra costume?

Quote: Shandonbelle @ October 21 2013, 8:50 PM BST

Does that chat up line...

The answer to that question is £24 for a magic talking clock and dinner at a Harvester of your choice.

Quote: lofthouse @ October 21 2013, 8:52 PM BST

Can I wear my zebra costume?

No f**k off

Is it me or has the background of the BCG

turned zebra, I just blew my monitor away.

Yes

It's pissing me right off

Every time they stick one of these friggin Huuuuuge adverts behind the forum it f**ks everything up

We just got rid of Reginald d hunter and his bloody crackers - now THIS

enuff already

Angry

and you know Aaron and Marc are rolling around naked in all the money they're making from it.

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