Dear Santa,
How are things?
How's the child surveillance been going?
That's good. You gotta teach em young not to LIE don't ya?
Yes sir(ee) you do.. Am I right?... Right
Hey there, I was sorry to hear about umm..
Your falseness and all..
That must have been a tough situation for ya...
I hope you recover soon.
Not to bring up a dead issue, but
Dad and Mom sure did LIE TO ME (lol oh boy)
What cha gonna do right?
They tried their best though (God Bless em)
Speaking of which... Have you heard from God lately?
You know... He hasn't responded to not one of my texts
Fathers can be BUSY nowadays... Wouldn't you know it...
Hey...I know we already talked about how your not real and everything
But can you do me a big favor and let God know I want a PS4 this year?
Thanks a lot... Your the BEST SANTA! Hope the elves are doing well.
WARMEST FEELINGS
JOBO JoBoComedy@gmail.com
(Lying to children about Santa trains them to either be atheist and/or distrust their parents)