NJ: Police Disco

(From Week one - w/c 16/9/13)
I like to hope that Newsnightclub scupprered this one

JUSTIN
Police have been criticised for spending £660k on music licenses for stations making them sound more like discos. Joining me now is police constable Paulson, resident DJ at New Scotland Yard.

PC PAULSON
(well street) Woop Woop it's da sound of da police - DJ PCP comin at yo live an kickin from interview room 2 evry night. Word.
(coughs)
(in stereotypical stilted PC delivery) Sorry - can't keep that up. I meant hello hello hello Justin.

JUSTIN
Early reviews of your disco have been good. A lot of people were really stunned by the experience.

PC PAULSON
Unfortunate but we've learnt from our mistakes and now don't allow tasers anywhere near the dancefloor.

JUSTIN
So now it's similar to other nightclubs and discos?

PC PAULSON
Very much so - but we try to play 'well banging' tunes that reinforce law-abiding with 'the massives'. This has meant rerecording some hits with slightly modified lyrics.

JUSTIN
Such as?

PC PAULSON
It ranges from The Clash - I thought about the law and the law won to Bob Marleys I tried to shoot the sheriff but was tasered by the deputy. And a well street, happening mashup of hits by Cher and Extreme - Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves get the funk out.

JUSTIN
And is there anything you won't play?

PC PAULSON
Not really but there's not much rap or R&B as we try not to play music by IC3 males - Afro-Caribbeans. It's not because we're racist it's just that we don't want to be seen supporting any form of blackmail.

JUSTIN
Right. And I suppose you're bound to play something by The Police?

PC PAULSON
Indeed. We end every night with 'Every breath you take'. Every move you make - we will be watching you. Mainly thanks to extensive CCTV coverage throughout the station and surrounding area.

JUSTIN
The surrounding area?

PC PAULSON
Yes. We catch everything on camera. Including last wednesday night when a man fitting your description was seen with a labrador-

JUSTIN
(interrupting) Sadly we're out of time, thank you very much PC Paulson.

END

really enjoyed that.

You probably didn't have a chance against Newsnightclub in the same week. It's okay, but all a bit set-up joke set-up joke and Justin doesn't have any funny bits. I wonder if the interview is the wrong format as it is all reported events. It might have been better to do an actual broadcast from the disco so we get things first hand.

My only gripe is you didn't get a Soft Cell reference in there.

Think Badge has a point though, it might have been better done 'live'.

Thanks for the feedback folks.

Quote: Badge @ October 1 2013, 11:48 AM BST

You probably didn't have a chance against Newsnightclub in the same week. It's okay, but all a bit set-up joke set-up joke and Justin doesn't have any funny bits. I wonder if the interview is the wrong format as it is all reported events. It might have been better to do an actual broadcast from the disco so we get things first hand.

View original

I had thought that Justin's role needed beefing up, and realised that the interview format wasn't the best, but the idea only struck me at about 11:15am on the Monday morning, so I did what I could in c.40min.

I still think it turned out well but would have been better with the luxury of time, and without Newsnightclub.