British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 5,313

Bahh, thanks to Oprah the world thinks we're Swiss are all racists. Bitch.

...or shall I say "biatch"...

I'll get me coat.

Top day. Another lunch date, cracked the tedious feature article for the company magazine and approached about a VERY interesting job. What's more I might be able to get back on the property as my elderly uncle is moving out of his little terrace house and wants someone to take it on. :)

Ooh! Things are looking up.

Was this the same woman or a different one?

Quote: Tuumble @ September 26 2013, 8:50 PM BST

Top day. Another lunch date, cracked the tedious feature article for the company magazine and approached about a VERY interesting job. What's more I might be able to get back on the property as my elderly uncle is moving out of his little terrace house and wants someone to take it on. :)

Life is like a box of chocolates...

Glad to hear that good news.

Quote: Tuumble @ September 26 2013, 8:50 PM BST

Top day. Another lunch date

Did you use the old Roscoff one two? One:Slap it on the table between two pieces of bread. Two:ask for some butter.

Guaranteed winner :)

Gives the expression "butterfinger" a complete different meaning.

Quote: zooo @ September 26 2013, 8:53 PM BST

Ooh! Things are looking up.

Was this the same woman or a different one?

The same. Not rushing anything but let's just say I have high hopes. :)

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ September 26 2013, 8:53 PM BST

Life is like a box of chocolates...

I've spiked half of it with roofies

Lovely....

Quote: Tuumble @ September 26 2013, 9:00 PM BST

The same. Not rushing anything but let's just say I have high hopes. :)

Have you subtly let the ex know you've moved on already...? ;)

Quote: chipolata @ September 26 2013, 8:51 AM BST

Yesterday Chip found a USB stick on the train. But instead of niche jpegs or clandestine government documents all it contained was songs by Black Sabbath and AC/DC. :(

Have you not heard of stealth encryption in which the secret data is held in the least significant bits of pictures, videos and music?

She knows you can't keep a burning ball of testosterone like Tuumbull tied down.

You can just watch it cross your sky like a flaming, meteorite of love.

Quote: Jennie @ September 26 2013, 6:53 PM BST

Dear Vernon Vaio,

This is a difficult letter to write. But I think we need to be honest about our feelings for each other. Monday night was hard for us both.

We did things some hurtful things. You landed on my foot, I threw an entire mug of coffee all over you.

I admit - I spoke to other people about you. I wasn't being disloyal. I needed to know how to deal with you. They told me to leave you alone to dry out. It was hard, Vernon. Hard being without you.

We've both done a lot of thinking whilst we've been apart. I've been thinking about computer repair shops. You've been thinking about drying out your fan.

I'm ashamed to say that I even looked at some other computers. Only for a minute, on the John Lewis website. They might be newer, sleeker models, but they don't have the history you and I have.

But I promise, I never would have done anything about it. You are the only one for me.

Thank you for coming back to me, Vernon. I must admit, it was touch and go when I turned you on. I didn't know how you would react - would you give me the fuzzy screen of rejection?

But you didn't. You belong here with me, Vernon. Here on my lap. We work well together, you and I. Nobody helps me avoid writing my script like you.

Please don't leave me. I promise I will never carry you in the same hand as a coffee cup again.

Lots of love,

Jennie

AwwwwH, how sweet.. reunited in electronic bliss.

Quote: zooo @ September 26 2013, 9:03 PM BST

Have you subtly let the ex know you've moved on already...? ;)

I'm pretty sure she thinks something is going on but she can't quite out what. I find it quite amusing. :)

Currently negotiating around an Edward style writing job, where I write a vo for a low budget, unsuccesful scifi film. With the hope a funny voice over will save it.
F**k I might offer to do it my self, in the style of Arthur Pilchard.

Not the best week ever, have worked loads, written nothing and was called at work to sons school today as he had banged his head, he's fine though...but Abba fancy dress 70's night for me tomorrow, am so rearing to go.

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