First sketch attempt. Supposed to be done in a mock film trailer style.
Epic Voiceover:
From the producers who brought you Olympus Has Fallen.
Female Assistant:
Welcome to 10 Downing Street where nothing ludicrous ever happens.
Epic Voiceover:
And White House Down
Russian Male:
We're pretending to be delivery men from a bike shop. A Mr Boris Johnson ordered a new chain to this address. We're here to...deliver.
Female Assistant:
Boris? But he doesn't live here, he only comes around scrounging for sandwiches
Russian Male:
Oh I know that. Pickle and mustard. I hate pickle and mustard.
FX: SHOTGUN BEING COCKED.
Bobby (English v.o):
Mr Prime Minister, we're under attack! They were posing as delivery men!
Prime Minister:
What? Who are you?
Bobby:
Bobby, sir. It's my first day and I'm one day away from retirement. I'm ex-army, widowed with an only child in hospital and my new puppy is currently stuck under a car near London Bridge. I'm here to save you.
Russian Male:
Oh Mr Prime Minister. Come out come out wherever you are. I'm tired of waiting.
Female Assistant:
You'll never find him this place is like a maze. He can be in anyone of the seven rooms and he can hide from a political scandal like a needle in a wig shop.
FX: DOOR BUSTING OPEN
Bobby:
Sir, they've taken it! They have your briefcase with the secret documents!
Prime Minister:
No, don't worry. I left it on a train last week.
Bobby:
Thank God. We need to get out of here! How do we get to the helicopter pad?
Prime Minister:
Helicopter Pad? I'm the Prime Minister not the president! We need to get to the terracotta safe room.
FX:GUNSHOTS.
Russian Male:
Attention my new English media friends. And the world. We are not here for mindless violence. Our violence serves a purpose. You must eliminate the 5p plastic bag tax. Or we will eliminate you.
Prime Minister:
This is madness!
Russian Male:
Madness? Madness is trying to charge me5 pence every time I want to suffocate someone!
FX:TWO PEOPLE RUNNING DOWN STAIRS
Prime Minister:
I had this passage installed after a rat was seen running outside the front door. I was afraid to leave the house that way for days. This should lead us...
FX: METAL DOOR CREAKING OPEN.
Prime Minister:
Outside.
Bobby:
We did it Prime Minister!
FX: SOFT WIND BLOWING.
Prime Minister (whispering):
Wait...do you hear that?
Bobby:
Hear what?
FX: BIN LORRY REVERSING ALARM
Prime Minister:
No! No!! Nooo!!!!!
Bobby:
Bin collection day! They knew! We're trapped! How will we get out!?
Epic Voiceover:
Downing Street is Falling Down! On DVD now! Carrier bag sold separately.