British Comedy Guide

NJ - Downing Street is Falling Down

First sketch attempt. Supposed to be done in a mock film trailer style.

Epic Voiceover:
From the producers who brought you Olympus Has Fallen.

Female Assistant:
Welcome to 10 Downing Street where nothing ludicrous ever happens.

Epic Voiceover:
And White House Down

Russian Male:
We're pretending to be delivery men from a bike shop. A Mr Boris Johnson ordered a new chain to this address. We're here to...deliver.

Female Assistant:
Boris? But he doesn't live here, he only comes around scrounging for sandwiches

Russian Male:
Oh I know that. Pickle and mustard. I hate pickle and mustard.

FX: SHOTGUN BEING COCKED.

Bobby (English v.o):
Mr Prime Minister, we're under attack! They were posing as delivery men!

Prime Minister:
What? Who are you?

Bobby:
Bobby, sir. It's my first day and I'm one day away from retirement. I'm ex-army, widowed with an only child in hospital and my new puppy is currently stuck under a car near London Bridge. I'm here to save you.

Russian Male:
Oh Mr Prime Minister. Come out come out wherever you are. I'm tired of waiting.

Female Assistant:
You'll never find him this place is like a maze. He can be in anyone of the seven rooms and he can hide from a political scandal like a needle in a wig shop.

FX: DOOR BUSTING OPEN

Bobby:
Sir, they've taken it! They have your briefcase with the secret documents!

Prime Minister:
No, don't worry. I left it on a train last week.

Bobby:
Thank God. We need to get out of here! How do we get to the helicopter pad?

Prime Minister:
Helicopter Pad? I'm the Prime Minister not the president! We need to get to the terracotta safe room.

FX:GUNSHOTS.

Russian Male:
Attention my new English media friends. And the world. We are not here for mindless violence. Our violence serves a purpose. You must eliminate the 5p plastic bag tax. Or we will eliminate you.

Prime Minister:
This is madness!

Russian Male:
Madness? Madness is trying to charge me5 pence every time I want to suffocate someone!

FX:TWO PEOPLE RUNNING DOWN STAIRS

Prime Minister:
I had this passage installed after a rat was seen running outside the front door. I was afraid to leave the house that way for days. This should lead us...

FX: METAL DOOR CREAKING OPEN.

Prime Minister:
Outside.

Bobby:
We did it Prime Minister!

FX: SOFT WIND BLOWING.

Prime Minister (whispering):
Wait...do you hear that?

Bobby:
Hear what?

FX: BIN LORRY REVERSING ALARM

Prime Minister:
No! No!! Nooo!!!!!

Bobby:
Bin collection day! They knew! We're trapped! How will we get out!?

Epic Voiceover:
Downing Street is Falling Down! On DVD now! Carrier bag sold separately.

Very good for a first attempt but I don't know fa about sketches. It's probably better than I could do but I reckon it needs a bit more work.
I got a little confused towards the end as to whether the russian male was in same room as priminister and didn't understand the bit about the rat. The jokes were quite good although most were fairly obvious. I liked the line about being one day to retirement etc.

Thanks for you feedback!

I tried to tie in with a few famous events that happened in Downing Street such as the rat that ran past the front door during a live BBC broadcast, and how he left the briefcase on a train last week. Attempting to be topical!

The Russian male was supposed to be in the same room when he shouted madness, but I don't think it was written properly to cut to another scene, unlike a visible version.

Share this page