British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 496

Or George Best from Northern Ireland. Or Paul Gascoigne from England.

Quote: Badge @ September 12 2013, 4:34 PM BST

Or Paul Gascoigne from England.

If he were around today, that would be true. But the England team he played in wasn't bad at all.

England only have two world class players now - Wayne and Cashley.

You've got to aim for safe, dull play if there are few creative players. Plus many of the first choices were not available. Hodgson's 55% of wins is his third best record with a squad. That's not bad. It is also better than Scolari's second period although obviously Joachim Low's is more impressive.

I like to like Roy because he isn't popular, he isn't a crook, he is from Croydon and the foreigners have been expensively chronic. There have also been too many Flash Harrys both managing and playing. So the duller the better, I say, but I am concerned that it is all now on a bit of a knife edge.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/24069574

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 12 2013, 8:56 PM BST

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/24069574

Everyone who doesn't want four commercial breaks during actual playing time should be worried about the rise of the USA. Americans have a lot of plus points but they are the first team in football I oppose for what their commercialism could do to the game.

But, in fairness, the European football authorities do seem to have spent lots of time and money trying to crack America so 'as ye sow . . '

Also, over here, there are already ads just before the teams come out and immediately before kick off.

With the obscene desire for money above all else in football it will only get worse.

4 x 25 minute quarters coming soon?

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 12 2013, 9:32 PM BST

But, in fairness, the European football authorities do seem to have spent lots of time and money trying to crack America so 'as ye sow . . '

Yes - agree!

I reckon in a few years they might move to 2 x 30 minutes (30 mins playing time, with a countdown clock and time-outs available).

I wouldn't be surprised if someone at fifa, I'm not capitalising for that shower of, does tinker with match lengths. Big games are such an event now I think you could easily squeeze 30 mins more lucrative game time out of it, minimum. They're looking for alternatives to penalty shootouts and one being mooted is after a 120 min draw, another 30 mins with the rest of the squad on, the B team. I sent the FA that one yonks ago, together with 30 mins 6 a side and corners and freekicks instead of penalties. I expect that self important kraut Beckinboor will nick all my ideas and get the credit for it.

Quatar WC farce gets more ridiculous every week. Now Blatter himself is signalling the decision may be reviewed and potentially scrapped. Will he give his bribe money back then or is that already in a Swiss bank account?

It's like magic. Robotically dependable Vorsprung Durch Technik becomes a clapped out banger with an unconvincing sicknote. Must be something about London - and its relatively new, very ropey, stadia.

Podolski - Injured
Mertesacker - Possibly ill
Ozil - An imaginary tummy upset

Allegedly.

Footnote: Here two of them are, the very epitome of health, three days ago -

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2416971/Faroe-Islands-0-Germany-3-Mesut-Ozil-Per-Mertesacker-combine-away-win.html

PS Wenger - watch out for groups of German players deciding they might become the managers and stamp it out immediately! Also, check the water at Ashburton Grave for clostridium difficile!

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ September 13 2013, 6:50 PM BST

They're looking for alternatives to penalty shootouts and one being mooted is after a 120 min draw, another 30 mins with the rest of the squad on, the B team. I sent the FA that one yonks ago, together with 30 mins 6 a side and corners and freekicks instead of penalties.

Excellent idea, Alfred. Just imagine the excitement. 'The tension here is unbearable as the match goes to sudden death corners ...'

Jonjo Shelvey
1 goal & two assists so far.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ September 16 2013, 8:39 PM BST

Jonjo Shelvey
1 goal & two assists so far.

Yes, it's the Jonjo Shelvey show alright. Laughing out loud

Good game, good game.

Quote: Ben @ September 11 2013, 10:07 PM BST

Hodgson has plenty of European experience, so it's a shame to see that his team plays such an ugly, outdated English way. The blame can't be laid purely at his door, but after a year or so in charge he doesn't seem to have improved things.

There just aren't the players to pick a good team from.

Why oh why can't we do what the Italians do in their league and limit the number of foreigners picked per match. That isn't stopping employment. They can sign as many as they want but surely it's up to the tournament to make its own rules. The only problem is the Premier League welcome all these second rate foreigners!

Quote: Jennie @ September 11 2013, 9:43 PM BST

I'm sure Gareth Bale could have played for England. All Welsh people have a drop of English blood in somewhere.

He bottled playing for Great Britain at the Olympics.

Quote: Jennie @ September 12 2013, 4:52 PM BST

England only have two world class players now - Wayne and Cashley.

I can see this is a comedy web site.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 12 2013, 9:32 PM BST

4 x 25 minute quarters coming soon?

Could be the answer to the Arab World Cup.

Quote: Badge @ September 12 2013, 9:44 PM BST

I reckon in a few years they might move to 2 x 30 minutes (30 mins playing time, with a countdown clock and time-outs available).

Like Futsal?

Quote: Ben @ September 11 2013, 10:07 PM BST

Hodgson has plenty of European experience

The good ol' 90s...one of Switzerland's best eras.

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