Kill the poor
MP's are sitting around the cabinet table. In walks the PM.
Prime Minister
Hello and welcome to the first cabinet meeting of our second term.
MPS
*Cheers*
PRIME MINISTER
I know, we've done it again. I can't believe we've managed to fool them a second time.
MPS
*Laugh* *Some light cigars*
PRIME MINISTER
Ok right. Attention. What we need now are some actual policies.
MPS
*Muffled discomfort*
PRIME MINISTER
We can't keep hoping the opposition elect idiots.
One MP
But, we don't stand for anything. All we stand for is that we're not as incompetent as the other rabble.
PRIME MINISTER
Exactly, that's why I've devised this ingenious way of deciding party policy. Without further ado, Sarah could you reveal the policy maker.
Sarah goes over to a previously unseen curtain on the wall at the end of the table. The PM does a drum roll on the table. Sarah unveils a dart board with post it notes stuck on it with what looks like enough darts for every MP.
PRIME MINISTER
Welcome to the first ever post-it-policy. Feel free to add your own suggestions.
Prime Minister throws post it pads at all the MPs and they all write some policy ideas down. A suspicious man with his face hidden is at the end of the table. The MPs get up and stick their post-its on the dart board and go back to sit down.
PRIME MINISTER
Sarah could you hand a dart to the honourable gentleman on the right.
Sarah hands a dart to the MP. The MP hits a post it note bang in the middle. hands this post it note to the PM.
PRIME MINISTER
Ok, our first governmental policy is.... *does a drum roll*. Oh, *Gulp* - Tax the Rich.
MPS look at each other and laugh. The Prime Minister assesses the situation and lets out a roar
PRIME MINISTER
I can't believe you managed to find my joke suggestion! Ok, next.
A MP gets up and lands a dart on a post it- Sarah hands it to the MP
PRIME MINISTER
Ok, are you ready? This one says 'Create more social housing'
MPS groan.
PRIME MINISTER
Well what do we think then?
One MP
Well its impossible isnt it? We need money for that, don't we?
PRIME MINISTER
Yes, I suppose you're right. Do we have any money? Chancellor?
The chancellor looks shifty, takes out his wallet and produces a tenner.
Prime Minister
Is that it?!
Chancellor
Well no
Chancellor produces a handful of coins with buttons in them and a drachma.
PRIME MINISTER
Oh well,that's that idea then...
One Young MP
Well no Prime Minister, that was my idea and I think its imminently possible.
PRIME MINISTER
Oh really? You're new. How?
ONE YOUNG MP
Well we could actually tax the more well off?
PRIME MINISTER
I'm going to let you off that one time... And now you get to throw the next dart
ONE YOUNG MP
If you don't mind me saying this seems an odd way to choose policy? is this the way you really do it?
PRIME MINISTER
Second warning, throw the dart or the post-its will go on you.
ONE YOUNG MP
*Sighs*. Ok
The young mp throws a dart and lands on a post it. Sarah hands the post it to the PM who looks delighted
PRIME MINISTER
Oh my, this is the one. This is the one! Are you ready? Yes? Ok, the policy is 'Kill the poor'.
MPS all look delighted.
One MP
Well yes, I agree. That's a vote grabber. Imagine a world without those smelly buggers.
PRIME MINISTER
It would help our unemployment figures.. Who suggested this?
Suspisicious man
I did Prime Minister.
PRIME MINISTER
My God, Your Royal Heigness!
SUSPISICIOUS MAN
Yes. We need to eradicate these urchins. Too much money is going on these workshy idiots.
ONE YOUNG MP
I'm sorry, you just can't kill the poor!
PRIME MINISTER
And why the hell not?
ONE YOUNG MP
It's immoral!!
PRIME MINISTER
Thats it, get out!
The young mp doesn't move. The Royal Heigness pulls out a gun and shoots around the man.
ROyal Heigness
How dare you question my authority, move now or I shoot!
The young mp escapes through a window
ROYAL HEIGNESS
I've got an idea... You wait here and think up good ways to kill the poor. Might I suggest poision the beer in Burger King? I'm just got to go and deal with something
We see the Royal Heigness leave and then out the window we see him on a horse with a bloodhound chasing the Young Mp like a fox...
End.
