Sketch for potential character

Thoughts on this welcomed.

Geoffrey and Kylie are lying on the bed, her hand is frantically moving under the duvet.

Geoffrey: "Oh my, oh my, that is going to go everywhere."

Kylie: "Oh yes, going to be a major clean-up operation in here."

They pull back the covers to reveal they are both fully clothed.

Geoffrey: (Laughs) "Tricked you guys, nothing going on here."

Kylie: "Just pretending to wank him off, wasn't I."

Geoffrey: "Get out of here now, you little scamp." (Spanks ass as she jumps off the bed).

Kylie leaves the room.

Geoffrey: "Don't mind her, just my sister."

Break to explanation of the mockumentaty. Following Geoffrey Beige for a day and his life as a gigolo.

Narrator: "This is Geoffrey Beige, a gigolo and self-confessed ladies man. Geoffrey has bedded over 1000 women and claims that his selfish sex style is the reason for his amazing success."

Cut to clip of Geoffrey childishly waving a dildo at the camera in a sex shop.

Geoffrey: "So, I'm just on my way to my next client, she's an absolute foxy one, wild in the bed."

Knocks on door and greeted by elderly lady.

Narrator: "June is a 65 year old widow; since her husband died in 2009 she has regularly required the company of Geoffrey."

June: He looks a lot like my late husband.

Puts picture of late husband to Geoffrey's face. They look completely different.

Geoffrey: "Shall we take this to the bedroom then, June?"

June: "Oh, he's such a kinky little bugger. I've got the Erection pump ready as well, so I can make you feel as big as dear Eddie." (Strokes pic of late husband).

13:07 enter room.
Hear bed rocking and slight moans as pic of late husband rocks on the side drawers.
13:16 leaves room.

Geoffrey: "So yes, I go for regular check-ups at the GUM clinic, this isn't because I don't trust my clients, but when I ask them about their sexual history and diseases, they could be lying. So far, not one sexually transmitted disease. The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."

Narrator: "Geoffrey's next visit is his most regular client, 22 year old Sandy Davies."

Sandy: "I use Geoffrey as he is very caring to my needs, FUCKING SMALL COCK, he always pays attention to me and makes me feel wanted, SHIT SHAG and goes that extra mile with affectionate cuddles and kisses after sex."

Narrator: "Sandy has suffered from Tourette's since being the age of 7 and believes that the honesty that her Tourette's produces is too much for most men."

16:00 Enter bedroom.

Sandy: (Screams of delight) "TINY COCK!"

16:11 leaves bedroom.

Geoffrey: "No, I don't charge per-hour, I charge per experience. Nobody ever went to have sex with their significant other and said, ok the timer is on, let's do an hour today. That's ridiculous. Time is what we want most, but what we use worst."

Back at home Geoffrey enjoys tea and reflects on what makes him such a good gigolo.

Geoffrey: "I take time to know my clients, in fact I don't see them as clients, but more as friends I take money off for sexual favours and companionship. I believe I am good at what I do because I care about women, about their feelings and I want to fulfil all their needs. I know, I know that I can satisfy a lady completely between the sheets. I act on Impulse and take my opportunities. Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with power to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment."

Camera pans to Kylie sat at the table, nodding her head at everything Geoffrey says.

Geoffrey: "Oh this, this is just a loyalty card that I give to my clients. For every 5 sessions they have with me they get a free cunnilingus session for free. For every 10 sessions with me it's full penetrative sex for free or a sexual act of their choice. In fact I am just on my way to see Cheryl now and this is her free session."

Narrator: "Cheryl is 30 years old and has only ever slept with one man in her life. Geoffrey."

Geoffrey: "A Boston what? It's a f**king what? No way Cheryl!"

Sandy: "But Geoffrey, your card says any sexual act of my choice and this is what I want."

Geoffrey: "Just go to the bedroom, I'll be there in 5."

Cameraman: "What's the problem?"

Geoffrey: "She wants to take a f**king shit on me, I need a way out of this one, some legal loophole or something. Like it says on the card any sexual act, but I should say that it's obviously subject to my discretion. For it is in giving that we receive."

Cameraman: "Pass me the card."

Geoffrey: "What you think?"

Cameraman: "I think you're about to get shit on."

Driving back with Geoffrey in complete silence and shock.

Geoffrey: "This day can't get any worse."

Geoffrey's phone rings (Bump N' Grind by R.Kelly).

Geoffrey: "What? Really? Oh my goodness. Ok, thanks."

Geoffrey looks at the camera.

Geoffrey: "I've got Chlamydia."

THE END.

I think this needs a lot of work, but there's some potential in the idea. Geoffrey is pretty one dimensional at the moment. He's selfish and a bit of an idiot, but nothing more. He gets his comeuppance at the end, but I didn't really care by that point. Also, this whole piece is just sex gag after sex gag after swearing. It came across a tad immature and not very subtle.

The positives are that there are a few nice visual touches and I think that the idea of a male escort has plenty of angles you could explore. I think you need to take him back to the drawing board and perhaps try creating a few sketches which aren't so sex heavy.

It needs a lot of work and it feels like a mix of Borrat and Deuce Bigolo so you may need to give it a more unique voice.

Cheers guys, it does seen a bit slapstick at times and if I'm honest, predictable.

Thanks for the input.

Hi Nick

I liked this. Thought it was a funny sketch that moved along quickly and worked well in the mockumentary style, with the narrator doing most of the exposition.. As Ben said. Geoffrey is a bit one dimensional so not how far you could go with this character if you were thinking sitcom, but has some potential.
Anyway. made me laugh.

I wouldn't say it was that slapstick. It is Base humour, but there is definitely an audience for it if it's done well. I didn't think I was going to like it after the first few lines because I thought it was just going to be smut, knob gags and innuendo for the sake of it....but Geoffrey's childish naivety and enthusiasm grew on me. Think there were some good little touches in there too...like -
The picture of the late husband (that didn't look anything like him) rocking on the bedside table.
The (screams of pleasure) "TINY COCK" from the other side of the door.

Also the end bit where he was in shocked silence, showing that he does have boundaries and he has a more vulnerable side. Which if you were thinking sitcom (??) would be good to see a bit more of ... Bit like say, Jay from the inbetweeners.

I agree with all the above, some nice ideas but a lot of swearing and sex stuff.

Your subject, by its very nature, is limiting your potential audience quite considerably. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean you have to work doubly hard to make it hilarious.

I think you need to add more dimensions to Geoffrey, and also perhaps work on a character for him to bounce off. Who is going to drive him up the wall, create all the comedy and provide us with the emotional element you need?

It wasn't very funny, the sex gigolo and sister stuff have been done before and the ending could be seen a mile off! other than that a good effort, keep up the good work!

Hi Nick,
Base humour isn't my cup of tea, but as others have said there is an audience for it. But sex gags (especially STD ones) have been done and done. If you want to stand out in the Base humour genre then I'd suggest trying to find an original angle on the character. Work the character up into a very three-dimensional man, give him a life outside of his job, and some very ordinary 'problems' etc that others can relate to. Once you know the character, start again and try not to limit yourself to sex jokes because there aren't too many left out there that haven't been done before!

Quote: sglen @ September 12 2013, 3:27 PM BST

Hi Nick,
Base humour isn't my cup of tea, but as others have said there is an audience for it. But sex gags (especially STD ones) have been done and done. If you want to stand out in the Base humour genre then I'd suggest trying to find an original angle on the character. Work the character up into a very three-dimensional man, give him a life outside of his job, and some very ordinary 'problems' etc that others can relate to. Once you know the character, start again and try not to limit yourself to sex jokes because there aren't too many left out there that haven't been done before!

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I couldn't say it better than this.