Some jokes Page 2

Quote: Marc P @ September 5 2013, 10:19 AM BST

It's not good. Because it implies a level of stupidity beyond reasonable belief. There is an idea in there somewhere but neither you nor Tony have worked it into a workable gag as yet I reckon. It's not a bad enough pun or a good enough observation. It''s a jokoid as someone else once named it. ANd the concept that it would fall off the minute she starts speaking needs some attention as to why it was on before and why it falls off when she talks, Not sure the meaning is clear here!

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I have to agree with Marc P, there's a nugget of a good joke in there but it's not yet been unearthed.

Best I can come up with off the top of my head is something like this;

Why does it say "Best Before Date" on a box of condoms, surely they're best AFTER a date, or if it's gone really well, DURING a date?

If you put them on before a date, then it'll probably fall off, you can't go to the toilet and even if you do get lucky it looks extremely presumptuous.

That's definitely the best version yet - you don't need the 2nd half, though.

Why do they print "Best Before Date" on a box of condoms? Surely they're best AFTER a date, or if it's going really well, DURING a date...depends on what your local cinema is like, of course.

Quote: gappy @ September 5 2013, 2:30 PM BST

That's definitely the best version yet - you don't need the 2nd half, though.

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I agree, although I was trying to get an extra "after thought" gag in there.

Quote: Tony Cowards @ September 5 2013, 2:49 PM BST

I agree, although I was trying to get an extra "after thought" gag in there.

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Why do they print "Best Before Date" on a box of condoms? Surely they're best AFTER a date, or if it's going really well, DURING a date...depends on how keen your mum is, of course.

Or maybe: I bought some condoms and the box said "Best before date" So I had a posh w**k before I went out.

why posh?

Quote: beaky @ September 5 2013, 9:02 PM BST

why posh?

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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=posh%20wank

Quote: Tony Cowards @ September 5 2013, 2:49 PM BST

I agree, although I was trying to get an extra "after thought" gag in there.

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Heh, gag. >_<

Funnyhahas version is my personal favourite. I laughed out loud thrice.
I just picture the image of him really gagging for it and then getting turned off suddenly and dramatically when she starts speaking (perhaps her voice reminds him of his ex wife). The problem is how to get that image into the listeners head.
(At the same time is the subtle sexism which I hate,but still find funny)

I bought some condoms and the box said "Best before date!" I though surely "At the end of third date!" would be more accurate advice?.... and it's really stupid advising me to put it on before my date, I mean, It's going to fall off!... the minute she starts speaking!
However I imagine Paul Cowards version would work better in a room

Why does it say "Best Before Date" on a box of condoms, surely they're best AFTER a date, or if it's gone really well, DURING a date?

If you put them on before a date, then it'll probably fall off, you can't go to the toilet and even if you do get lucky it looks extremely presumptuous.

although not sure I get the AFTER and DURING dichotomy.

Well AFTER a date would be usual where as DURING would imply that they'd had sex at the restaurant or cinema or wherever they went on the date.

Anybody who uses the word thrice is already lying.

Tonys rewrite is certainly a lot better. I think the gags need to be more contextual or just a throwaway a la Tim VIne. And yes 'A la' is acceptable in this context. Throwaway meaning, of course, you don't pick it up and examine it.. you move on quickly.

You can navel gaze this one out of sight here people.

If I heard that as a set on a comedy club I would have laughed at it because it's funny.
It's a pacy little number and Vine fans would love it.
I don't recognise any of the jokes and if they are interpretations they're good ones.

I understand the need for structure etc etc etc and I know a comedian has to polish and polish.
But seeing as it's Friday lets just enjoy this one for what it is, a funny little number.

re the condom joke - how about:-

I bought some condoms and the box said 'Best before date' I thought,'oh, that's a little premature...'

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ September 6 2013, 3:32 PM BST

You can navel gaze this one out of sight here people.

If I heard that as a set on a comedy club I would have laughed at it because it's funny.
It's a pacy little number and Vine fans would love it.
I don't recognise any of the jokes and if they are interpretations they're good ones.

I understand the need for structure etc etc etc and I know a comedian has to polish and polish.
But seeing as it's Friday lets just enjoy this one for what it is, a funny little number.

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But that's the point Teddy, IMHO most of these wouldn't work particularly well in a comedy club, certainly not to anywhere near Tim Vine's standard, that's why they need polishing, as you say.

I guess it all depends on what the OP wants, if he just wants some people on an internet forum to say they are quite funny then fine, leave them as they are, but if he wants to use them successfully in front of an audience, or perhaps sell them to a working stand up, then they need to be improved (again, IMHO).

No need to be humble Tony