Quote: zooo @ August 29 2013, 12:35 AM BSTHehe. I wouldn't denigrate his looks if they were the ones he was born with, but he chose to do all that to himself...
And that's why I don't watch it. I just cringe and hide under a blanket. I do the same when I'm anywhere near water.
You don't want to get that fur wet.
Right off to bed. 50 mile cycle ride tomorrow. Not for charity just cos I can (hopefully). If things go badly you may all have to come and visit me in hospital. That's right-ALL OF YOU!
Quote: zooo @ August 29 2013, 12:40 AM BSTYou don't want to get that fur wet.
It's in pristine condition although it's a bit awkward during the salmon run.
I'm not sure anyone wants my input in this but I met the wife through the newspaper (that's how long ago it was).
I have to say that particular period of my life was fun and I did have some rather odd experiences. In one two week period I went on six dates with the final one ending up being my wife of nearly 14 years. Of the other five there was one who worked at an animal testing facility and she had ankles like a pair of Canadian Redwoods.
One girl I was particularly keen on and I thought we were getting along very well. I asked her if she wanted to meet up again and she gave me a hollow laugh and said, "Er, no!". That rather dented my confidence I must say.
The final one I'll mention may have been featured on the site before but for amusement purposes I'll repost the article I wrote about it a few years back. This probably highlights more than any other what can happen. 
Blind Date with an Italian Rabbit Breeder!
My dating tale is riddled with intrigue, lies and deceit and yet I find it all a bit of a giggle in hindsight.
First of all you have to remember that we are going back over 20 years for the events of this story and dating was a little different back then. These days most people who are struggling to meet by conventional methods look for love via the Internet. I do sometimes wonder about experiences I would've had if this option had been open to me back in the late 80s.
The pictures that are used to enhance on-line datees chances just make the mind boggle. Some of the ladies practice their best sultry looks rather than giving a natural smile, the latter being far more appealing in my book. The men, meanwhile, look like their auditioning to be the next star of the next Diet Pepsi ad. Does seeing a guy's rippling torso really have a bearing on whether you call him, girls? It does? I'll keep quiet then...
Back to my story. The date I'm going to talk about happened as a result of a lonely hearts advert I posted in the local paper. It was my regular routine for a Thursday for me to trawl this column to search a prospective date and I wasn't having a lot of luck. I was only about 22 back then and had never had a girlfriend so with hormones rampant, I decided to post an advert of my own.
This isn't as easy as you might think because you have to paint an image of yourself where you come across as an Adonis without sounding like an arrogant goon. The skill was to sum yourself up in about four lines using as many acronyms, such as GSOH (good sense of humour), as possible. The danger is that you ad will end up just looking like a random set of letters.
So anyway, I placed my advert and waited for the messages to come into my telephone inbox and I was absolutely inundated: there were two. I rang the first but she cried off for some reason but the second agreed to meet.
Now, my advert gave an age rage of 18-21 which is quite narrow but I was quite young at the time remember. I also gave an indication that I didn't want any potential suitor to be taller than me. I can't say it would bother me so much now but clearly it did at the time.
Imagine my surprise then when I meet my date for the first time and she's a good four inches taller than me at 6ft 1″. Perhaps more of a worry was that she was just 17. When I found this out during the date I was quite shocked that someone quite so young felt that they had to resort to this method so soon. Apart from anything else I think it was probably against the service rules.
There I was in a date with a girl who already essentially lied to me twice and we'd only been in each others company for five minutes. She was nice enough actually though she did have the physical presence of an Eastern European shot-putter - a little disconcerting.
The next turn off was that she drank in pints of beer. While I don't particularly have a problem with this she was only 17 so it was therefore illegal for her to be drinking alcohol anyway. Even if she was over 18 I would've been far more likely to look favorably on a future together if she was more restrained on her consumption.
I don't remember too much of what we talked about that night but what I do remember was that she was from Italian stock and bred rabbits. A nice hobby I'm sure but not one I could contribute much to in the conversation stakes.
A while later a band came on stage and it became difficult to talk so she suggested we go to her house for a coffee as it was only a few doors away. I wasn't thrilled by this prospect but it still seemed early to be looking for a get out clause so I reluctantly agreed.
When we went in the house there seemed to be a party going on and I was beginning to wonder whether I had been set up. We entered the lounge and literally all the family were there, not just immediate family, but elderly relatives, cousins and the local mafia too I shouldn't wonder.
There was nowhere to sit so I stood after refusing the option of sitting on the floor. My date later remarked that we were going to see her brother soon and it felt like I was already her boyfriend in her eyes whether I liked it or not.
It was a tortuous couple of hours that followed before I finally made my excuses and left followed into the street by my date. She hung around expecting a kiss but she didn't get one. Asking me if about meeting up again I said "Sure. I have your number I'll give you a call."
Except I didn't.
That was very rude of me but I knew she didn't know where I lived. She also didn't have my phone number so I was pretty sure I could give her the slip and so it proved. However, I've spent most of the intervening years wondering whether I'll wake up one morning with a horses head in my bed for besmirching the family honour!
.
For anyone that is interested, I have a date lined up for next week.
He is my age and conventionally attractive, but I suppose we all have to make compromises. 
Quote: Tuumble @ September 5 2013, 5:32 PM BSTOne girl I was particularly keen on and I thought we were getting along very well. I asked her if she wanted to meet up again and she gave me a hollow laugh and said, "Er, no!". That rather dented my confidence I must say.
Bitch!
What are you doing for your date? Dinner, the opera or getting blind drunk?
Quote: Ben @ September 5 2013, 11:12 PM BSTDinner, the opera or getting blind drunk?
So....either eat for two hours with a stranger who may judge every mouthful or sit in total silence at the opera, emmm...blind drunk it is then. 
I don't know what I'd suggest doing if I had to go on a date now. It's been a long time since I've been on a first date.
Quote: Ben @ September 5 2013, 11:32 PM BSTI don't know what I'd suggest doing if I had to go on a date now.
Do as little as possible and do it for a very short time. Really you want something like an hour meeting for coffee during the day or something, not too long to endure if your date turns out to be 'not as described' (which accounts for about 50% of them) or 'a complete nutter'.
I liked online dating when I did it, and you don't only meet people romantically. In fact, it might be nice to have a version of a dating site where you just seek out new mates.
Quote: Jennie @ September 5 2013, 11:07 PM BST
For anyone that is interested, I have a date lined up for next week.
He is my age and conventionally attractive, but I suppose we all have to make compromises.
Good luck, you didn't get it by including it in some plea bargaining around a particularly charming murderer did you?
Quote: Nogget @ September 6 2013, 9:26 AM BSTDo as little as possible and do it for a very short time.
So, straight to the sex then?
Very modern.
Quote: Lazzard @ September 6 2013, 10:19 AM BSTSo, straight to the sex then?
Does that chat up line ever work?
Quote: sootyj @ September 6 2013, 10:21 AM BSTDoes that chat up line ever work?
You'l find one that does eventually SootyJ.... you just have to believe.
touche!
Quote: Nogget @ September 6 2013, 9:26 AM BSTDo as little as possible and do it for a very short time.
This was my thinking. He suggested dinner at a fancy restaurant, which would be nice but is a whole pile of awkwardness if we have have nothing to say to each other.
In the end, we're going for ice-cream a stroll round Regent's Park. Weather dependent. *eyes rain outside flat with distaste*.
He seems quite nice. Works in advertising. Obviously that could mean anything from big bod exec (unlikely at 29) to the tea boy.