Posh

Hi, I'm new to this site and to comedy, so all help is appreciated Its meant to be some sort of a stand up script, and obviously there's an audience
Thanks,
Ellia

Right, now I would consider myself to speak quite poshly, although saying poshly probably makes me unposh, but never mind. I am genuinely quite posh, I went to private school and all that, but a friend of mines mum, is not genuinely posh, but acts like it or like she thinks she is. Honestly, whenever Im over there, I'm not Ellia, I'm Ellia Darling and their dogs don't go for a wee, they do their 'duties'. I would love to hear her parents having sex. Actually no, that's weird, but imagine it, no, that's just disturbing. Anyway, she doesn't go jogging like normal people, not that I ever do, she goes joegging. 'Im just going joegging darling to take the dogs for their duties'. Do any actually posh people talk like that? She wears tweed and everything! You would never, ever, ever catch me in tweed! Ever! Blergh! Ok, hands up who has watched Miranda? Hands up if you think she's better than m- No! That'll be too embarrassing! Anyway, I was watching Miranda with my friend once and there's a part where she says 'If I marry him I'll wear tweed and have a dog called Jasper pronounced jar-sper!' I'm just sat there quietly laughing and my friend turns round to me, deadly serious and goes 'Why's that funny?' so I'm sat there trying not to laugh and I just about manage to say 'um, I don't know'.
So with that, I must go and take Jar-sper for his duties and go to bed because I'm going joegging in the morning
Thank you! I have been and still am, Ellia Porter. Goodnight!

Hello

I assume this is standup right?

Half way through you got funny, I like all the duties stuff and the ending on a call back joke is great.

But the first is a bit slack and slow. Do people really say poshly?

Also what are you hoping to do with this as its only about a couple of munutes material.

Also you need a joke about a tweed jogging suit

It starts well, but I think after do their duties you should add another example or two perhaps
Identify where the jokes are & get as much as you can from them in the least possible time.

Write the piece in sections maybe to identify if there's too many words for not enough payoff.
I don't think the Miranda bit would work for example as it doesn't go anywhere & isn't strong enough on it's own

I think it's a really good first attempt. The boys are right re content. I would also make sure you work out a way of saying "I'm genuinely posh" without turning your audience against you. Taken in the wrong way, it could appear as if you are being snobby about the fake posh friend.

I am very common, so sadly can't help there.

It's all about having a weakness. Miranda is quite posh, but her clumsiness is a great leveller. Make sure you get your audience onside and keep them there. Good luck

I think it's difficult to tell how funny this is or how funny you are without seeing or hearing you "deliver" (as I believe the expression is) the material.You may be a "natural" or , indeed, have "funny bones" as the show business folk say when they're baffled by somebody who's a bit good but , on paper , shouldn't be.So audio or video yourself and post it .Good luck.

For most people likely to see your stand-up I would guess tweed is associated more with trendy hipster wankers than 'posh' people.

Although they're insufferable narcissistic cretins, they haven't appropriated it for no good reason. It smells amazing when pressed.

It's a bit short!

[ It smells amazing when pressed.[/quote]
Pressed? Who presses tweed?

Who presses tweed? The tweed wearers valet.