British Comedy Guide

Online Dating Page 19

Quote: sootyj @ August 22 2013, 1:24 PM BST

Was that deliberate? Because it's awesome.

Nope, which made it even funnier.

That reminds me of Henry Blofeld commentating on the cricket at Trent Bridge. He s famous for commenting on extraneous things like pigeons and buses.

Surveying the Nottingham skyline, Blowers said:

'It's such a clear day, we can see all over the city. Look at that lovely little church on the hill. Why it looks like they're having a barbeque up there!

Co-commentator:

I think that's the crematorium, Henry.

My favourite cricketing moment.

Quote: Jennie @ August 22 2013, 1:34 PM BST

I agree.

It was a touch naive of me not to realise why I was attracting the wrong sort of attention.

But this is who I am. I'm not the kind of girl who goes to clean out my pony Truffles before starting on the cross stitch.

Nothing wrong with it, but it isn't me.

Be yourself, be funny, say what you want to say. Because there's someone out there for everyone, and the people who are right for you, will be attracted by your profile.

When I was doing mine - I said I was overly competitive, and people who find that a challenge, need not message me.

However, this then set up a load of men who accepted said challenge. And then couldn't cope with my ridiculous habit of turning everything into a competition which I would always win.

Mr L.E. however, loves it. He's just as competitive. And when we join forces we're unstoppable.

That sounded fun, if a little Natural Born Killers.

Quote: Jennie @ August 22 2013, 1:58 PM BST

My favourite cricketing moment.

That is wonderful to me :D

It is kinda awesome.

Quote: Jennie @ August 22 2013, 1:58 PM BST

Henry Blofeld

Johnners, of course, also had some gems.

Also amusing was former England captain, the late Tony Greig, whose cricket commentary repartee with former Australian captain Bill Lawry, has become the stuff of legend.

Online dating? Much already discussed: https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/15286/2/
So no need to re-post sexist links: http://www.slapperdating.co.uk/

Lovely Jonathan Agnew. "It's not easy putting a rubber on, is it?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiYayt6IgtM

Quote: Jennie @ August 22 2013, 6:08 PM BST

Lovely Jonathan Agnew.

Should you be interested in daft cricket commentary: here, Tony Greig tries to bait Bill Lawry over his preference for pigeons (Lawry is a pigeon fancier/breeder) rather than ogling sexy women in the crowd. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WVl0NgdsDk

And here, Tony fumbles the technology for changing virtual fielders' positions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNHZFmOzMt0

Not the malapropisms or (unintended) innuendo of the BBC commentators, but amusing nonetheless.

And not to everyone's tastes is former Australian bowler Kerry O'Keefe, who does radio commentary - and has a fondness for telling crap jokes and laughing noisily: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y3AXzZqg2k

Here, Kerry is tempted to eat the world's hottest chili while commentating: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y3rTOPNulI

What's pleasant is how he can seemingly ignore the cricket action and just talk nonsense instead.

Quote: Kenneth @ August 22 2013, 7:34 PM BST

And not to everyone's tastes is former Australian bowler Kerry O'Keefe, who does radio commentary - and has a fondness for telling crap jokes and laughing noisily: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y3AXzZqg2k

I got the joke from the moment he said that a frog went into a bank. Cricket commentary is a fine art. In football, you can just talk about football. Cricket can be so dull at times that you have to be able to talk nonsense convincingly.

Quote: Jennie @ August 22 2013, 7:52 PM BST

I got the joke from the moment he said that a frog went into a bank. Cricket commentary is a fine art. In football, you can just talk about football. Cricket can be so dull at times that you have to be able to talk nonsense convincingly.

Then humour of this is the other commentator trying to insert serious ball-by-ball commentary amid the joke-telling.

Quote: AndyGilder @ August 22 2013, 1:16 PM BST

And funerals.

It comes in useful at funerals.

Wearing a buttonhole that squirts water and doing ventriloquist work with the coffin is not considered "good form", apparently.

Depends on who the corpse is. If he/she asked that the funeral music is to be "Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye" your squirty buttonhole is probably OK.

Billwill, what happened? You're a caricature of your former self.

Thought we were talking about dating?

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ August 22 2013, 8:51 PM BST

Billwill, what happened? You're a caricature of your former self.

I changed my avatar for a while to a very old one of mine.. Have you not been keeping up?
See: https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/28465/ "The saga of Billwill's Horns"

PS: if you catch it right, the avatar is grim at first then breaks into a smile.

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