British Comedy Guide

Online Dating Page 14

Right I'm off for my delayed walk in the sunshine.
I shall go to Ally Pally and promenade along the front, so if any loose unattached BCG ladies would care to join me we can have a drink in the pub at the west end of Ally Pally.

I have tried it loads of times.
Sometimes I get a relationship.

Quote: billwill @ August 20 2013, 3:15 PM BST

Right I'm off for my delayed walk in the sunshine.
I shall go to Ally Pally and promenade along the front, so if any loose unattached BCG ladies would care to join me we can have a drink in the pub at the west end of Ally Pally.

We probably crossed paths! Well, I was on the train but still.

Quote: David Smith @ August 20 2013, 8:12 PM BST

I have tried it loads of times.
Sometimes I get a relationship.

We know who your relationship is mostly with....

Now that you have four cats you have no time for that dating nonsense anymore.

Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ August 20 2013, 9:12 PM BST

We probably crossed paths! Well, I was on the train but still.

Maybe you are on my panoramic photo.

Quote: billwill @ August 20 2013, 9:39 PM BST

Maybe you are on my panoramic photo.

Now that IS worrying :O

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 20 2013, 9:48 PM BST

Now that IS worrying :O

Why? Her image would only be about 4 pixels big; totally unrecognisable :)

The Panorama was of the whole of London laid out in the sun.

I could see all the way to The Shard and past that to Crystal Palace TV mast and past that to another TV mast in the far south (which I did not previously know it existed).

I have a new favourite.

69 year old chap, a full 40 years my senior, just got divorced and wants to have "as much sex as possible until I can't do it anymore".

Sadly, that's not really my thing and he is a bit old even for me, but his message made me smile.

Might need to rethink the impression I am making though Huh?

Bless his wrinkled winkle.

Wondering if I should start my profile with I have a clear enhanced CRB.

That way ladys will think I'm either safe or too devious for the law to catch up to.

Like James Bond or something.

Not on any registers is always a good selling point.

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2013, 9:46 PM BST

Wondering if I should start my profile with I have a clear enhanced CRB.

You jest, but I have seen this. Along with "full clean driving licence". Like, I don't care. In fact, a couple of points for speeding would at least make you a bit more interesting.

Quote: Jennie @ August 21 2013, 9:43 PM BST

Might need to rethink the impression I am making though Huh?

Put your profile in Critique! ;)

Quote: Jennie @ August 21 2013, 9:49 PM BST

You jest, but I have seen this. Along with "full clean driving licence". Like, I don't care. In fact, a couple of points for speeding would at least make you a bit more interesting.

I can't drive.

Any vehicle I pilot, I'm an outlaw.

Quote: zooo @ August 21 2013, 9:51 PM BST

Put your profile in Critique! ;)

Worst advice about anything ever.

Share this page