Quote: sootyj @ August 16 2013, 4:44 PM BSTYes but marcps king of Norfolk
Of, course, I was forgetting. A big hand for the king of Norfolk...6 fingers.
The Number - short Page 2
Norfolk - where you don't have to be a Vicar to marry your sister...
I wish there were more folk like Norfolk!
nb the ingenious thing about this sketch, is its the clasic unhelpful phone menu sketch.
But geniusely you've made it about the callers and not the phone service, which doesn't even get called
Thats very original and the great basis for a sketch,
I feel that it needs a little more tenseness to it but it is very good otherwise. 
Quote: Lisarey @ August 16 2013, 11:48 PM BSTtenseness
Excellent word.
Yeah this is a radio sketch.
I think this needs a bit more focus. Your aim is to get to the idea of the number making it easier and less confusing - that's good, I liked that - but there are just too many words leading up to it.
I agree with everybody else about introducing peril, however if there was a definite emergency (a fire) they would know to call 999, so the fact the body is dead adds something. Not knowing whether a dead body is an emergency or not is definitely believable. It's something I would probably wonder myself in the situation! So I think you could add something extra by things happening to the body. The arm gets caught on a branch and is ripped off, a fox gets to it. Something like that. (Difficult to do that on radio without exposition though).
And take out any reference to 911. Can't suspend my belief far enough to think they wouldn't know if they were in the UK or US Also, take out the 'but we're in the UK'. We can tell by their accents. I'm going to have to disagree on those who say the writing is zippy, I'm afraid. I think you could make it zippier 
Sorry, just realised this all sounds negative. It's a good idea!
A surprisingly high nu her of young people in a recent UK survey, thought they were living in the us
Sometimes I think they're not wrong.
Quote: Tursiops @ August 17 2013, 11:35 AM BSTSometimes I think they're not wrong. Grumbled tursiops into his warm bitter, the spotty barman tapped the board above the bar
'No grumbling into your beer before 10am'
Witherspoon's area bastards aren't they