Lazzard & Jennie.
You're absolutely spot on here !.. These ARE different concepts/gags aren't they. You've got me thinking about this sketch more than I ever intended... in a good way. Really helpful to have people looking at stuff through fresh eyes that are able to spot things like that, that should have been obvious.
Thanks again and to anyone else that read it and commented.
It's good.The introduction reads very well out loud.I couldn't resist a go in an android voice.I still keep thinking it'll be Tom Baker's voice-over and Matt Lucas acting in most of them . One point though.Why post it on it here?I hope you've e-mailed it to the production company first.There are a lot of unscrupulous and desperate people out there.
Judging it purely as a potential entry for 2525, coprophagia probably isn't something the Beeb would dish up to a 6:30pm audience.
Quote: Jaicee @ August 16 2013, 10:35 AM BSTThere are a lot of unscrupulous and desperate people out there.
Can't be sure , but I don't think anyone's had anything nicked off here...
Quote: stonked @ August 16 2013, 10:36 AM BSTJudging it purely as a potential entry for 2525, coprophagia probably isn't something the Beeb would dish up to a 6:30pm audience.
Ha Ha... fair point. (Had to look up coprophagia, as I've led a sheltered life, but had an educated guess at what it meant)
Quote: Jaicee @ August 16 2013, 10:35 AM BSTWhy post it on it here?I hope you've e-mailed it to the production company first.There are a lot of unscrupulous and desperate people out there.
No I haven't sent it off yet. I posted it up here to in the hope of getting the sort of helpful feed back that I have gratefully received. To be honest, the thought of someone nicking it didn't occur to me...and actually, if they did, I would have been quite flattered and surprised that they would want to.
Have you had that happen to you ??
It's hard to nick anything from Jaicee, as all he ever writes is the first 12 words or so, and a synopsis. 
It's a clever idea and I really like the strong characterisation, certainly you could make the case for the robot family as repeat characters.
But intros to long and as has been pointed out it's too crude for the time slot.
So maybe try and imply more, shouldn't be to hard.
Thanks Sootyj
I will have a go at reworking this later taking on board everyone's comments.... probably without the intro.. or a much shorter one.
Thanks
Matt
Its a nice idea, and the exchange is good: I can hear the mother saying CROCODILES!
But, like a few others, I think that having humans doing animal things misses a chance at some gags - you could get more humour from typical human activities in a zoo environment. This little effort is pretty rubbish, I'm sure you can do loads better, but...
-What's that thing in the cage doing with the squidgy stuff, Mummy?
-That's called a painting. It's art, humans always do it. Nobody knows why, it's completely pointless.
-Cor. And what are those awkward looking ones in a circle doing?
-That's called having a dinner party, it;'s another human instinct. Nobody knows why, it's completely pointless. The little lumps are called vol-au-vents.
-Vollyvonts. Wow. And what's that one on the left up to?
-Erm...oh, shall we go and see the monkeys next door?
-No, Mummy, I want to know what that one is doing!
-Ssshhh! Keep your voice down. It's...it's called banking. The humans do it, but it's, err, not polite to discuss in public.
-Why don't we do banking, Mummy?
-Because we're not dirty animals. I don't want to hear any more about it, do you hear? That topic is not one for a nice young android. Now let's go and see the monkeys.
-What will they be doing?
-Shagging and crapping everywhere.
-Yaaaay!!
Personally I'd used the reveal that it's robots gaping at humans as the core part of the joke. Admittedly this would probably work better with a visual reveal, but still
INTRO: And as the organisation of the world becomes more and more automated, humanity spends more and more of its time in zoos.
KEEPERBOT (DAVID ATTENBOROUGH'S VOICE): ... and these particular specimens were rescued from the verge of extinction...
KIDBOT: Mummy mummy... look at their funny bottoms!
KEEPERBOT: Despite their unusual appearance, they are perhaps the cleverest of all the apes...
KIDBOT: Mummy... that one's LEAKING
MUMBOT: KEEP AWAY FROM THE BARS
KEEPERBOT: Yes, stay away from the bars... their apparently docility belies a certain animal ingenuity...
KIDBOT: Hu-monkeys Hu-monkeys, Hu-monkeys
KEEPERBOT... they might appear addicted to Playstations and wine, but get too close to them and they'll scramble your circuitry and refashion your antenna into a TV aerial
KIDBOT: Boring! Can we go and see the crocodiles now?