New comedy sketch
Hi
I gave up after a minute, it was just to strangely depressing to engage me.
Sorry
Depressing? I would call it other things but depressing. Oh well thanks for watching
Why not introduce yourself and say hello.
But you need to intrigue or amuse in the first 30 seconds or so.
This was a garbled discussion on how to use a video camera, followed by someone gazing into the POV with a look like the girl out of Ringu.
Hi I am chanel, my comedy sketch is about a home made diary. the camera is supposed to be like that. Ringu? haha I take that on board she is a character that follows a keep fit routine hoping to lose weight. butthat's wer the comedy comes in.
I'll watch the whole thing, but cut that intro!
thanku 
The acting's good.
Maybe remove all references to 'comedy' and hope people think they are watching a genuine fitness diary?
Thanku very much for the comment. Will defo look in to that x
Watched the rest, its well acted, filmed and then dialogue is very natural.
But I think the jokes feel I dunno not there. Its quite a funny idea but somehow the characters could have more funny interrasctins, its a littlemtoo natural
Well acted and observed - and a good idea.
BUT four minutes too long.
The trick with this sort of thing is to get across the idea of overlong, rambling amateurs - without ending up being guilty of the very thing you are mocking.
Try cutting it down to two minutes.
Work out what you'd keep - what you'd chuck out.
Leave people wanting more, not looking at their watches.
Best of luck.
thanku very much I appreciate your comments, it is an online series I shouldnt of said sketch I don't know why I did. when all of them are out I will post on here. Constructive critisism is what it is all about
Quote: Lazzard @ August 16 2013, 9:01 AM BSTWell acted and observed - and a good idea.
BUT four minutes too long.
The trick with this sort of thing is to get across the idea of overlong, rambling amateurs - without ending up being guilty of the very thing you are mocking.
Try cutting it down to two minutes.
Work out what you'd keep - what you'd chuck out.
Leave people wanting more, not looking at their watches.
Best of luck.
What I was trying to say
Comedy for me is reality twisted
Make it to real and where is the comedy?
Quote: Lazzard @ August 16 2013, 9:01 AM BSTWell acted and observed - and a good idea.
BUT four minutes too long.
The trick with this sort of thing is to get across the idea of overlong, rambling amateurs - without ending up being guilty of the very thing you are mocking.
Try cutting it down to two minutes.
Work out what you'd keep - what you'd chuck out.
Leave people wanting more, not looking at their watches.
Best of luck.
What I was trying to say
Comedy for me is reality twisted
Make it to real and where is the comedy?
I understand completely x
I don't know if this is really poor or genius, I can't quite decide!
Zumba - "you still owe me for that" - made me smile.