I almost never post stuff in here, because I was fortunate enough to find some like-minded people to pass scripts around with once a week, so my critique is done live. But last week one of the team unexpectedly brought this script in again after well over a year (it was written fopr one of my 1st skit comps after joining here), so I thought I'd see what you thought of it.
It's a an audio sketch, as most of mine tend to be.
SHE: What are you doing with that stuff?
HE: Building a cave.
SHE: You can't build a cave. Caves are formed in a slow geological process, you cann't make them out of Kronenbourg and back issues of Practical Photography.
HE: Would you mind moving your foot, please?
SHE: Tell me why you're piling that detritus.
HE: I told you, it's my cave. And you don't belong in it. It's a man cave.
SHE: Which means?
HE: It's a metaphor.
SHE: Go on.
HE: Well, obviously there's a man in a cave...and he's chained up...and he sees these shadows on the...err...look, it's a bloody man cave, that means you can't come in, right? It's my sanctuary of maleness.
SHE: Did you read this in some crappy pop psychology book?
HE: No!
SHE: Did you overhear someone in the pub who'd read it in some crappy pop psychology book?
HE: [Embarrassed pause] No female trickery in the cave! Piss off.
SHE: But this is supposed to be a bedroom.
HE: And now it's not. It's a masculine retreat from the gynocratic imperative, right? Look, you can have one too, I'm not unreasonable. You could turn the utility room into a...vag palace.
SHE: OK, this has gone far enough. There is no way you're turning any room in this house into your man cave!
HE: And why not?
SHE: Because we don't own it yet.
ESTATE AGENT: So, this is the master bedroom, folks. Seems as though you're getting a feel for it. Shall we take a look at the bathroom?
HE: The hot tap's mine!
