This sketch has been officially shot and rolled up in a carpet.
Sketch 2
is the joke the vicar masturbates alot and needs to clean the ejaculate off of his laptop?
[quote name="sootyj" post="1006086" date="August 11 2013, 3:05 PM BST"]is the joke the vicar masturbates alot and needs to clean the ejaculate off of his laptop?
[/quote
Yes I realise the point you're making. The horse has already bolted...
I really shouldn't post after two bottles of Jack Daniels.
Now that was funnier than the sketch.
Quote: sootyj @ August 11 2013, 3:08 PM BSTNow that was funnier than the sketch.
My final line was going to be:
VICAR
I told the choirboy to aim for my mouth.
I thought it was too rude.
I'm not sure what a lapton is (cross between a laptop and a lectern?), and a spermguard (apparently) is some sort of plastic cover for a keyboard.
So I'm struggling here.
You should have thrown in a joystick joke as backup.
*Sootyj posted while I was typing - so my effort has lost some of its punch. But I'll leave it as written*
Quote: stonked @ August 11 2013, 3:15 PM BSTI'm not sure what a lapton is (cross between a laptop and a lectern?), and a spermguard (apparently) is some sort of plastic cover for a keyboard.
So I'm struggling here.
You should have thrown in a joystick joke as backup.
thanks. My eyes...
Yes, There is a spermguard plastic cover for the keyboard - according to the urban dictionary.
*hic*
Quote: stonked @ August 11 2013, 3:15 PM BSTI'm not sure what a lapton is (cross between a laptop and a lectern?), and a spermguard (apparently) is some sort of plastic cover for a keyboard.
So I'm struggling here.
You should have thrown in a joystick joke as backup.
*Sootyj posted while I was typing - so my effort has lost some of its punch. But I'll leave it as written*
type faster the bcg is an unforgiving evolutionary primordial pit
It's about as funny as an evening with Jim Davidson.
Can I apologise to you all?
Well the structure and the setup is good, just the punchline that fails.
Also vicars are allowed sex, its priests who aren't.
If you're serious about this writing lark. Why not ask yourself what do I find funny?
I mean the Jack Daniels gag was perfectly fine.
Quote: sootyj @ August 11 2013, 3:29 PM BSTWell the structure and the setup is good, just the punchline that fails.
Also vicars are allowed sex, its priests who aren't.
If you're serious about this writing lark. Why not ask yourself what do I find funny?
I mean the Jack Daniels gag was perfectly fine.
I don't why I bothered with that sketch anyway. I know it was poor, and it was another obvious one. I should write it out on paper first.
I have to try more sophisticated ideas.
Anyway, the football season is upon us.
Quote: paul ivey @ August 11 2013, 3:26 PM BSTIt's about as funny as an evening with Jim Davidson.
Can I apologise to you all?
No, no, no. There is no apologising. Post your stuff, get feedback, apply it, improve your work, repeat.
Keep going Paul 
Bother, missed it, how come there's no law against spiriting a sketch away in the dead of night and throwing it in the Thames??
Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 11 2013, 8:36 PM BSTBother, missed it, how come there's no law against spiriting a sketch away in the dead of night and throwing it in the Thames??
I believe it is against Critique rules...
Quote: sootyj @ August 11 2013, 3:26 PM BSTthe bcg is an unforgiving evolutionary primordial pit
My father spent his whole life in it. No, but seriously folks...
Quote: paul ivey @ August 11 2013, 3:37 PM BSTI don't why I bothered with that sketch anyway. I know it was poor
In many ways, they're the ones to post, you might get some new ideas. Don't post things you already think are perfect, only bad things can come of it.