I thought I'd give this so people can see most of the opening from my pilot.
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"TIGERFEET"
'The cat crept in'
ESTABLISHING SHOT. A TYPICAL TOWNHOUSE ON A BUSY STREET.
CUT TO:
CLOSE-UP OF BRASS PLAQUE OUTSIDE FRONT DOOR. IT SAYS "READING CHILDRENS' HOME".
INT. KITCHEN.
MAYA FOTHERSGILL, AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN IN HER EARLY FORTIES, IS LOADING FOOD ITEMS ONTO A TROLLEY. SHE'S HAPPILY HUMMING AWAY TO MOZART'S "REQUIEM" IN D MINOR.
ENTER OWEN FOTHERSGILL. HE'S A GREY-HAIRED MAN IN HIS EARLY FIFTIES. ONCE FROM YORKSHIRE, BUT HIS ACCENT HAS SOFTENED, IN HIS HANDS IS A MEGABLASTER WATERCANNON.
CROSSING TO RADIO, HE TUNES IT TO ANOTHER STATION. RACEY'S "SOME GIRLS WILL" COMES ON.
OWEN
Can we make this a happy room?
HE GOES OVER TO THE KITCHEN WINDOW AND OPENS IT. HE BEGINS TAKING AIM. MAYA TURNS THE RADIO OFF.
MAYA
Is that who I think it is?
OWEN
He's bending over and eating the variegated grass...
HE SQUEEZES THE TRIGGER. "MEOW!"
OWEN
I've never seen a cat jump so high...
HE TURNS TO MAYA, GRINNING.
MAYA
I'm not sure what it's done to you.
OWEN
He's a devil in a fur coat.
MAYA
You haven't forgotten have you?
OWEN
Nope. That's why I'm getting my revenge in first.
MAYA
Dear old Mrs Gilchreest will be dropping him off later. It's just for a couple of days.
OWEN
I mean, who calls a cat "Barabbus"?
OWEN TAKES AIM AGAIN.
MAYA
Is he back?
OWEN
I'll give him his due, he's like Robert the Bruce's spider, he is.
"MEOW!!"
MAYA
Ah - yes...your allergy.
OWEN
I mean, why would you agree to look after him?
MAYA
I forgot that cats give bring you out in a rash.
OWEN
If I get within ten feet of a moggy, my skin begins to blister and turn I purple.
MAYA
That's right, I remember now - you looked like a fat raspberry.
HE REACTS SLIGHTLY.
CUT TO:
INT. ZENIA'S BEDROOM.
LOTS OF SOFT TOYS AND PINK THINGS. ZENIA FOTHERSGILL IS ABOUT TEN-YEARS OLD. SHE HAS FRIZZY BLONDE HAIR IN BUNCHES AND WEARS LITTLE ROUND SPECTACLES.
SHE SITS AT HER PINK BARBIE DRESSER. SHE HAS STACKS OF ONE POUND COINS IN FRONT OF HER AND IS COUNTING THEM.
ZENIA
THREE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-FIVE...THREE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-SIX...
MAYA SWINGS OPEN THE DOOR.
MAYA
Five minutes, okay?
ZENIA
Mother? How many more of these do I need for a pony?
MAYA
Ooh, I don't know really...
ZENIA
Just hit me with a ballpark figure.
MAYA
Um. Maybe a quarter of the way there.
ZENIA CONSIDERS THIS.
ZENIA
That's a leg saved, then.
MAYA EXITS. ZENIA, THINKING OUT LOUD:
ZENIA
Hmm...but do I earn the other three legs...?
CUT TO:
INT. T.V. ROOM.
SHOTS OF KIDS LAYING ROUND IN EVERY STRANGE POSITION IMAGINABLE.
MILTON LIGHTFOOT, A NEW-AGE TRAVELLER BOY OF ABOUT TWELVE, SITS WITH DOUGHNUT GLOVER, A CONSIDERABLY-SIZED BOY WHO IS SLURPING ON A CANTALOUPE. THEY ARE WATCHING A MOVIE.
MILTON POINTS AT THE SCREEN.
MILTON
This guy is the dumbest cop ever...
DOUGHNUT
Bellhop done it.
MILTON
The bellhop? The bellhop's alibi was watertight. Cast iron. The bully did it.
DOUGHNUT
My learned friend, you are missing a vital point...
MILTON
I've just gotta hear this. And...?
DOUGHNUT
I've seen the movie before.
A THOUGHT TAKES MILTON.
MILTON
Any news on your bully?
DOUGHNUT
McCracken? He still hasn't let up.
MILTON
Has he goofy-slapped you again lately?
DOUGHNUT
No, he's turned it up a notch.
MILTON
Really?
DOUGHNUT
It's nuclear wedgies now.
MILTON
Wow.
DOUGHNUT
He caught me in the school toilet, yesterday.
MILTON
He did? What did you say to him, did you tell him to stop?
DOUGHNUT
I couldn't.
MILTON
Why not?
DOUGHNUT
Because my head was down the pan.
MILTON PUTS HIS ARM AROUND DOUGHNUT'S SHOULDER.
MILTON
My friend, we're going to come up with an anti-bullying strategy.
CUT TO:
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I shouldn't have posted the other bit because without the setup it's difficult to understand.
In the main story the lady passes over and Owen is lumbered with the cat. The final plot point will involve the cat having kittens. It was a female.