Oooh you're right there Stonked no wonder your eyes look like that lad.
Legal Privilege - Sitcom Script Page 9
Quote: sootyj @ August 9 2013, 6:54 AM BSTLike the mission statement of an escort company
It doesn't all have to be about sex but its a great place to start
Basil/Sybil, terry/June phoebe/Ross or Rachel/joey none of these are really sex related relationships
But just work out how they're related. If he's higher status due to his experience, but lower status due to his criminal conviction that's a great place to start
This is an interesting point.
I think most modern sitcom does have sex (or romance, if you are a little more refined) at it's core. Or at least in the inner circle.
Not every relationship in Friends was sexual (although both the couples you mention had a snog). However, the central narrative in Friends was the relationship between Ross and Rachel. It starts with the rejection of the traditional family at the start (Rachel leaving Barry at the altar and coming back into Ross' life) and ends with the acceptance of family at the end (they decide to raise their daughter as a family unit).
So whilst sex isn't everything, in the modern world I think it's pretty important.
Quote: Jennie @ August 9 2013, 3:12 PM BSTSo whilst sex isn't everything, in the modern world I think it's pretty important.
I think you should set this as your signature.
Quote: Ben @ August 9 2013, 8:57 PM BSTI think you should set this as your signature.
It's certainly a sentiment I'm happy to endorse.
That well known philosopher Chris Rock once said that for a man a platonic friend was a woman whom he had not slept with - yet; and that for a woman a platonic friend was a penis in a glass case - in emergency, break glass.
If you have a man and a woman as the principal protagonists in a sitcom there has to be an element of sexual tension, as this is the force that holds them in orbit around one another; it is not just enough for them to work together, as that in itself does not create a bond.
But this attraction need not be explicit, for an example of sexual tension being treated subtly see Chris Barrie and Julia St. John in The Brittas Empire. He is a faithful husband, but she is everything his wife is not; he is impossible, but she sees the decency in him and cannot help being protective.
So the question is, what is it your characters see in one another, and what is it that stops them from getting it on?
Quote: Tim Azure @ August 10 2013, 9:15 AM BSTWell this is the Freudian view, but it's hardly new, not that platonic sensibilities are new either.
Does that chat up line ever work?
Quote: Jennie @ August 9 2013, 3:12 PM BST
So whilst sex isn't everything, in the modern world I think it's pretty important.
I agree, what you doing tomorrow? 
Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ August 10 2013, 11:34 AM BSTI agree, what you doing tomorrow?
Quote: Tursiops @ August 10 2013, 10:30 AM BSTThat well known philosopher Chris Rock once said that for a man a platonic friend was a woman whom he had not slept with - yet; and that for a woman a platonic friend was a penis in a glass case - in emergency, break glass.
If you have a man and a woman as the principal protagonists in a sitcom there has to be an element of sexual tension, as this is the force that holds them in orbit around one another; it is not just enough for them to work together, as that in itself does not create a bond.
But this attraction need not be explicit, for an example of sexual tension being treated subtly see Chris Barrie and Julia St. John in The Brittas Empire. He is a faithful husband, but she is everything his wife is not; he is impossible, but she sees the decency in him and cannot help being protective.
So the question is, what is it your characters see in one another, and what is it that stops them from getting it on?
This is really helpful, Tursiops, thank you.
The last bit of my first draft. It is silly and needs a lot of work, but I had fun writing it.
I am not necessarily expecting feedback - I have had more than enough and you've all been great. But a few people asked, and so here it is. If anyone can think of a good line to finish on, I would be eternally grateful.
Just to recap, as I haven't posted all of my work - Charles is prosecuting a big case, the trial of a local reality TV star who is charged with sexual assault on a Russian glamour model. The defendant is saying that he tripped, fell, and landed with his hands on her bum.
Charles has done a big thing to the press, where he has slammed this defence as ridiculous. At the same time, Ellie fell over and humiliated her herself in front of the paparazzi.
Ellie's money worries have taken a sinister turn - she is now getting cakes with threatening messages attached. Someone called Harry has been kidnapped. She has been left with no choice but to work for Charles and help him prepare his big trial..
INT. COURT FOUR - BIMPTON CROWN COURT - NIGHT
ELLIE IS ALONE. CHARLES HAS LONG SINCE LEFT. THE SCISSORS ARE STILL IN HER HAND. THERE HAS BEEN A BALLOON MASSACRE.
SHE GOES TO GET HER BAG. THERE IS ANOTHER CAKE ON TOP OF IT. SHE LOOKS AROUND BUT SEES NO-ONE.
THE ICING CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING WORDS: "ONE DAY LEFT. REMEMBER HARRY".
EXT. COURT STEPS - NEXT MORNING
CHARLES IS STANDING ON THE STEPS IN THE CENTRE OF A MEDIA FRENZY. HE HAS POSITIONED A SPOT LIGHT AND SMALL FAN TO REFLECT HIM IN ALL HIS GLORY.
HE IS A PICTURE OF MAGNIFICENT MEDIA MANAGED TRIUMPH.
ELLIE IS STANDING JUST BEHIND CHARLES. SHE LOOKS THOROUGHLY MISERABLE.
ELLIE
(to herself)
Please be OK, Harry.
CHARLES
Today, my great crusade for justice has reached its glorious end. Guided by my mighty hand, the jury saw through the defendant's lies with the razor sharp precision of an Amazonian tree surgeon.
ELLIE SEES BERYL IN THE CROWD.
BERYL STARES AT HER MENACINGLY AND PLACES HER HAND INSIDE HER COAT POCKET.
BERYL SLOWLY TURNS HER HEAD. ELLIE FOLLOWS HER GAZE. PROPPED UP AGAINST THE WALL IS BERYL'S SHOVEL.
SUDDENLY, BERYL DARTS BEHIND A PILLAR AND OUT OF SIGHT. ONE OF CHARLES' SPOTLIGHTS CASTS HER SHADOW ON THE FLOOR.
ELLIE CAN SEE ANOTHER SHADOW FROM THE PILLAR. BERYL HAS GOT ANOTHER PERSON BACK THERE.
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS AND JOURNALISTS ARE DESCENDING ON CHARLES TO TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS. ONE PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE FEMALE JOURNALIST IS ON THE STEPS JUST BELOW HIM.
TO HER HORROR, ELLIE SEES THE SHADOW BERYL STICK A KNIFE INTO THE OTHER SHADOW PERSON.
ELLIE
No!
SHE SHOVES CHARLES OUT OF THE WAY AND RUNS TO THE PILLAR.
CHARLES LOSES HIS BALANCE. HE FALLS OFF HIS STEP. HE REACHES OUT DESPERATELY TO BREAK HIS FALL. HIS HANDS LAND ON THE BOTTOM OF THE ATTRACTIVE FEMALE JOURNALIST.
JOURNALIST
Oi, pervert!
SHE PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE. THERE IS CHAOS AS A FIGHT ENSUES.
ELLIE CONTINUES TO RUN TO THE PILLAR.
SHE FINDS BERYL WITH A SMALL DOLL IN HER HAND. CHARLES' SPOTLIGHT HAD CREATED A LARGE SHADOW.
THE DOLL IS AN ACTION FIGURE OF PRINCE HARRY. ELLIE GRABS THE DOLL FROM BERYL.
ELLIE
Oh, Harry. Thank God you're safe.
SHE CLUTCHES THE DOLL TO HER CHEST IN RELIEF.
IN THE BACKGROUND, CHARLES IS AT THE BOTTOM OF A PILE OF BODIES.
UNLIKE HARRY, HE IS FAR FROM SAFE.
CHARLES
Ellie! Help!
ELLIE
What can I do? I'm just an intoxicated hippo.
SHE WALKS OFF.
INT. COURT 4 BIMPTON CROWN COURT - THE NEXT DAY
CHARLES AND ELLIE SIT IN COURT. CHARLES HAS A BLACK EYE AND AN ARM IN A CAST. JAMIE SITS IN THE DOCK. THINGS HAVE RETURNED TO NORMAL.
HARRY SITS ON THE DESK NEXT TO ELLIE. HE IS WEARING A TINY DOLL-SIZED WIG AND GOWN.
THEY HAVE BEEN SITTING IN SILENCE FOR SOME TIME.
ELLIE HAS HER FEET ON THE BENCH. SHE'S PAINTING HER TOENAILS AND READING NEWSPAPER ARTICLES ABOUT CHARLES.
ELLIE
Well, they've spelt your name right, that's something.
CHARLES IGNORES HER.
ELLIE
(CONT'D)
"Bigamist Barrister Braced for Borstal After Blundering Bottom Blip". Sexual Assault. Very serious.
CHARLES STARES STRAIGHT AHEAD.
ELLIE
(CONT'D)
On the bright side, you'll be infamous. We can sell autographed copies of your entry on the Sex Offenders' Register.
CHARLES
Aren't you supposed to be at the bottom of a canal?
ELLIE
Beryl has given me an extension. A once in a lifetime opportunity has arisen. A case worthy of a barrister of my pedigree.
CHARLES
What case?
ELLIE
Yours.
CHARLES
You represent me? I'd rather make Dim Sum out of my own scrotum.
ELLIE
Well that's alright then. Because I'm prosecuting.
ELLIE GOES TO THE DOCK TO SPEAK TO JAMIE.
ELLIE
How are you feeling today, Jamie?
JAMIE
A little uncomfortable. Mobile phones are a lot wider than they used to be.
ELLIE
I really don't want to know.
JAMIE
You hypocrite. You enjoyed those polo mints I got you last week!
ELLIE
Can you just sit there and behave today, please?
JAMIE
I've got the paper to read. It's always nice when someone you know makes the paper.
ELLIE
Poor Charles. He looks at doleful as a Job Centre.
JAMIE
Not him, you. You made it to page three.
ELLIE
What?
JAMIE SHOWS HER A LARGE PICTURE OF ELLIE ADJUSTING HER TIGHTS. HER BOTTOM TAKES UP 3/4 OF THE PAGE.
SHE'S HORRIFIED.
CHARLES SMILES TO HIMSELF.
What does Charles say? What is that final line? I have no clue yet.
Quote: sootyj @ August 10 2013, 10:49 AM BSTDoes that chat up line ever work?
Go wild https://www.facebook.com/philosophystudentassociation
Quote: Jennie @ August 10 2013, 11:08 PM BSTCHARLES
You represent me? I'd rather make Dim Sum out of my own scrotum.
Bahahahaha.
I'm glad you liked that. It's my first ever knob gag. They are tricky to come up with without having the benefit of your own to provide inspiration.
No need for a final line his smile is enough,
Or so you finally got your briefs in the paper
Very good nice extension to the relationship with her prosecuting him
You wrote chaos well and some very sweet lines, just beryl not good
Especially liked the all the bs newspaper. Head
Line
Quote: Jennie @ August 11 2013, 9:20 AM BSTI'm glad you liked that. It's my first ever knob gag. They are tricky to come up with without having the benefit of your own to provide inspiration.
It's not a knob gag Jennie. A knob gag is a euphemism based gag.
CHARLES: Fancy coming round to mine for a tasty bite of dim sum?
BELINDA: You're not referring to your scrotum again are you, Charles?
CHARLES: Yes. But I've got sweet and sour pork balls too.
Would be a knob gag.
Oh. And I was so happy. 
Still, I am proud of my "not-really-a-knob-gag".