Comedy Sketch, would love Feedback Page 2

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ August 9 2013, 2:38 PM BST

Thank you Sootyj,

Whilst I get what your saying, its set in a bar, people don't talk in sound bites they have conversations, I wanted a sketch that had a natural feel to it.

Also if everyone writes the same way, why would we need different writers?

I've read it over again today and I think it's just about the best peice of work on here! but thanks for your input

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Is it too late for a Stumble Award nomination?
Or will this have to go into the 2014 awards?

I've read it over again today and I think it's just about the best peice of work on here! but thanks for your input

My my that's conceited. I doubt even the very best writers on here would ever make such a comment.
I think you are misconstruing what other have said in another thread about ignoring the things you don't like.

You have had some brilliant advice so far, it's your option to take it or leave it.
If you think it is the finished article then there is no need to post anything else for critique.

If you took the best lines and spent time perfecting them, they wouldn't feel out of place in a Stewart Francis routine. The rest of it - characters, setting, don't really add anything.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ August 9 2013, 2:38 PM BST

alcohol isn't the answer, no one ever found the solution to their problems at the bottom of a beer glass
Well apart from that time I was looking for a Drinks Coaster

I just feel my glass is always half empty
Well don't drink so fast

I found my wife when I was in this very bar.
I sat at the bar and went on www.get-a-cheep-wife.mars and there she was

I told him if he was going to waste his life being a mime, I never wanted to hear from him again.

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Quote: Lazzard @ August 9 2013, 3:28 PM BST

Is it too late for a Stumble Award nomination?
Or will this have to go into the 2014 awards?

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What is a Stumble Award?

He's being pithy (and no, I don't have a lisp)

I think it alludes to the posters that post just once and say 'I stumbled across this 'great thing' please look' etc

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ August 9 2013, 4:20 PM BST

He's being pithy (and no, I don't have a lisp)

I think it alludes to the posters that post just once and say 'I stumbled across this 'great thing' please look' etc

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Ah, I see. Well, we all live and learn.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ August 9 2013, 4:20 PM BST

I think it alludes to the posters that post just once and say 'I stumbled across this 'great thing' please look' etc

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That was just one category!
It was a Bussell-inspired concept that never quite got off the ground - but was quite a giggle at the time.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/post/956483/

In the words of one particularly devoted fan -
"...the sort of smug, self-regarding wank that can only come from the mind of English tossers."

Happy days.

I'm sad to have missed this Bussell-man. He seems fun.

How are you spelling that?

Quote: Lazzard @ August 9 2013, 5:01 PM BST

How are you spelling that?

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It's Friday. I'm allowed Friday spelling on Friday.

Quote: Jennie @ August 9 2013, 5:02 PM BST

It's Friday. I'm allowed Friday spelling on Friday.

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Sorry - wasn't having a pop at your spelling.
Just a weak joke based on the fact that some would come up with another word, apart from 'fun', to describe David.

You're right - it's Friday.

Ah, I see. I'm a bit slow tonight.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ August 9 2013, 2:38 PM BST

I've read it over again today and I think it's just about the best peice of work on here! but thanks for your input

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Maybe my dry sense of humour didn't work? or I should have finished with LOL! I was trying to exaggerate the advice I had been given in another post about how to handle comments and how to believe in what you are doing and push it to the extreme. it was only meant to be funny not true!

I'm starting to get the feeling I don't belong on here!
maybe I should leave!

Then I apologise. I thought it wasn't really in keeping with other things you have posted. It is difficult to detect sarcasm on the Internet

No realy

No realy