Till he opens his gob.
Will you get our ball for us mister Page 2
I have to bring the hat, it covers my 1ft tall cylindrical head. On the plus side, I also keep biscuits and mashing's in it as well.
Stephen I like biscuits but I have no idea what 'mashings' are?
Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ August 7 2013, 8:08 AM BSTStephen I like biscuits but I have no idea what 'mashings' are?
He he, I thought people might not know that word (I think it might be old Yorkshire dialect) mashings are tea-bags sugar and milk.
That's f**ked up that is.
Thats fantastic a really perfect script
Would just suggest the boys throw the ball back over the wall and comment "Here comes another one" at the end?
or not.
I'll get your coat.
Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ August 7 2013, 11:52 AM BSTI'll get your coat.
No need I'll just use my cloak of invisibility - now where did I put it...
Quote: playfull @ August 7 2013, 11:49 AM BSTWould just suggest the boys throw the ball back over the wall and comment "Here comes another one" at the end?
or not.
No, you're right.
That way you don't need the rather clunky explanatory line at the end - just have them film it - laugh as he staggers off then chuck the ball over again.
End on shot of next innocent victim walking towards them.
Quote: Lazzard @ August 7 2013, 12:33 PM BSTNo, you're right.
That way you don't need the rather clunky explanatory line at the end - just have them film it - laugh as he staggers off then chuck the ball over again.
End on shot of next innocent victim walking towards them.
Bingo. It's a funny sketch, for sure; to me it would be even funnier if the boys were just serial sadists doing it for fun.
I also think perhaps I'd laugh more if there were just loads of crazy bangs, crashes and screams coming from behind the wall, not dog sounds, so that you can imagine all types of baroque cruel set-ups back there.
I don't think they have big walls in parks. Parkhurst maybe. Didn't work for me as violent dogs aren't funny for me. Maybe as a cartoon? I did write a sketch with a kid asking for his ball back from an irate man at his front door who says it's the last bloody time, or some such, who then hands a bowling ball over. But that wasn't used. So as Playful says who knows. But I Know a man who does... Lazzard!
Yeah, I don't think a man being attacked for some kids to laugh at is that funny. I think the kids need to get their comeuppance for it to work otherwise it's just a bit mean spirited.
I think its fine, it works for me as I find it funny so I can't ask for more to be honest.
Thank you all for your comments and some very good input. I agree with Playfull and Lazard, the end is very clunky, I don't like it and it needs to be changed and I like your suggestions.
Sooty, thanks I appreciate you saying so
Gappy, The idea is to use sound effects for the dogs, so yes more banging and clanging would be good.
Marc, I was thinking of filming this sketch in the park near me, that has a big wall, it backs off onto a side road but there will be no need to see the other side.
And Marc & Ben, there are not really violent dogs in the sketch it is only a joke just some sound effects, I know in light of recent news events about dangerous dogs it might seem mean spirited but please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't care it's just a bit of fun, no real dogs are involved and nobody is being mauled.
But all in all I really appreciate all the feedback from you all, I do take it all in and use it.
Oh and Teddy, as always I appreciate your honesty.