British Comedy Guide

sootyj's 2525 efforts

Thought I'd have a go, havent read BBC style in yonks. So doubt they're upto much but what the heck nothing ventured, nothing gained.

nb feel free to be as merciless as you like, I'm not great at BBC style stuff and it would be great to kick off some discussion on this new show.
version 2

1 MOL

VO
500 years ago you had an MOT to see if you're car, was a smelly, dangerous threat to the society. But now with the car extinct, it's time to see if you are the smelly, dangerous threat to society. No more the MOT from the ministry of transport, welcome to the MOL from the ministry of life!

FX A BUSY OFFICE PEOPLE BUSTLE AROUND
JEFF
Hello is this the right office, 27b?

BOB
Yes it is take a seat make yourself at home, I'm Bob now have you heard read the holo leaflet about your MOL?

JEFF
No

BOB
Telepathymail.

JEFF
No I was leering at a girl on the hover bus so I didn't think about it. Any way
Ministry of Life inspection? I'm only 18 surely I'm still under warantee.

BOB
Used to be the case, everyone got 30 years before being recycled into biomass. Too many brilliant scientists and popular celebs were getting squidged before their time and people who wee in tele-communicator booths were living past the point they were useful to anyone. It's all part of the govenrments new deal for killing and eating, unemployable young people.

JEFF
I weed in a telecommunicator booth on the way here, will that count against me?

BOB
Yes

JEFF BREAKS WIND

BOB
And that let's crack on, do you have a job?

JEFF
No

BOB
Friends?

JEFF
Um I think my mum likes me.

BOB
Not according to her sworn deposition, she asked if she said she didn't like you the cat could get an extra year.

JEFF
It's a robot cat, its got a 10,000 year life span, thanks mum. Crikey I haven't done much with my 18 years I might as well get broken up for spares.

BOB
That's the spirit lad, now just pop through that door I hear it doesn't hurt a bit.

GRAMS
JEFF GETS UP AND OPENS A DOOR
SOUND OF PARTY POPPERS AND PEOPLE SAYING "Surprise" "Happy birthday"

JEFF
Oh you guys, I knew I had friends this was all a surprise for my birthday. You even brought the cat, where's the cake?

BOB
You are, just pop through that door there son.

2 THE CHANGE

VO
The 21st century prophet Lady of the Ga Ga preached of how she was not born a certain way, but what if you weren't built a certain way?

GRAMS
A noisy workshop, machinery etc.

TOM
Hello darlin' how can I help you? You certainly were built for pleasure cwoor.

R356
I'd like some industrial tracks fitted, a mining laser and don't call me darling thank you.

TOM
Um is this a wind up.

R356
It most certainly is not. I may have been built on the outside a Sensuos modelb pleasure android, but I've always known I was a programmed to be a asteroid mining unit

TOM
But you're lovely; you're a perfect fusion of artificial flesh, machinery and your jubblies took 3 years to design and won a noble prize.

R356
That's not the point.

TOM
That clone of Jeremy Clarkson test drove your buttocks unit around the rings of Saturn.

R356
You just don't understand, I was programmed into the wrong body. Oh you're upsetting me so much, I wish I could cry.

TOM
I could install some tear ducts if you like?

R356
No that's not what I want. I may have the body of a weak and feeble pleasure android, but I have the heart of an industrial mining unit.
TOM STARTS TO CRY

R356
Why are you crying human?

TOM
Because you're right, you'd be beautiful with a nuclear reactor and a jet pack. Atleast you'd be beautiful too me, could you ever love a soft squishy human being?

R356
Don't be disgusting, I'm not that kinky.

Hi Sooty,

I don't know what this 2525 thing is, but these are nice - particularly the second one. You could make some interesting comparisons between a "pleasure android" and the media's fixation with beauty. That's if you wanted to go deeper with them.

They need some tightening up, but I think you're on the right track.

Quote: Tim Azure @ August 6 2013, 7:49 PM BST

You did know they wanted a 6:30 Little Britain?

It's Matt Lucas' production company so I think these quotes from the website are the pertinent ones:

"a sketch involving someone who has a camp droid" and "a ... sketch idea that you think could recur in other episodes"

I like both the sketches. If you'd dragged the second one out over 30 minutes you'd probably have had a winner for the Transgender Comedy Writing contest too. BBC style FFS!

I think the second one is the stronger of the two, but the punchline perhaps needs a decent amount of sci-fi knowledge to get.

Sooty what is BBC style, what does it mean BBC style?

Thanks they are a bit rough but glad the ideas shone through.

The first one is a vague satire on all those films, Never Let Me Go, Coud Atlas etc where some poor clone gets chopped up for bits,
besides the idea of a human MOT always tickled me.

You're right Ben about the punchline, I'm looking for a variation in piss off ugly.

Quote: Carlos Manwelly @ August 6 2013, 9:50 PM BST

Sooty what is BBC style, what does it mean BBC style?

Dunno listen to Radio 4, nice erudite, witty tickling the hippocamous.

Not about beheading midgets and sexbots.

Quote: sootyj @ August 6 2013, 9:52 PM BST

Thanks they are a bit rough but glad the ideas shone through.

The first one is a vague satire on all those films, Never Let Me Go, Coud Atlas etc where some poor clone gets chopped up for bits,
besides the idea of a human MOT always tickled me.

You're right Ben about the punchline, I'm looking for a variation in piss off ugly.

Dunno listen to Radio 4, nice erudite, witty tickling the hippocamous.

Not about beheading midgets and sexbots.

Ok thanks, I have never listened to radio 4, I have moved onto radio 2 from radio 1, but will give it a listen

Do you get Radio 4 in Wales?

Quote: sootyj @ August 6 2013, 9:56 PM BST

Do you get Radio 4 in Wales?

I have never checked, I am sure on a good sunny cloudless day, we should be able to.

Did you like the sketches?

Quote: sootyj @ August 6 2013, 10:02 PM BST

Did you like the sketches?

I was to busy trying to work out what BBC style meant when I read if first, but just read it again without the distraction and yes I liked it, it appealed to the geek in me.

Thanks and you should look up the 2525 competition.

Quote: sootyj @ August 6 2013, 10:08 PM BST

Thanks and you should look up the 2525 competition.

Thanks I just Googled it, sounds interesting, and now your sketch makes even more sense.

I was bamboozled until you mentioned in a later post that a human MOT is a good idea. That might be the case. But you've written about an MOL.

I prefer the second idea, but it needs more laughs.

Quote: Tim Azure @ August 7 2013, 8:04 AM BST

Still don't get if you understood this. Do you still worry about not being discovered with your £1000 a month writing?

Bit of a shame writer Jennie doesn't seem to follow the Writing Opps threads...

Tim, I think people gave up listening to you a long time ago.

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